She tried to limit herself to twice a day, but right now the only thing she could think about was a sandwich. She stood up, rubbed the slope at the base of her back, and made her way downstairs. She walked straight to the refrigerator where Tim left a fresh batch of tuna every day. He knew exactly how much mayonnaise and lemon juice to put in to make it creamy and tangy at the same time. She ate it open-faced on slices of untoasted English muffins. She had already tied the twisty around the end of the plastic bag when she changed her mind and pulled out a second. Scraping the remaining bits of tuna out, she spread it onto the bread and finished the sandwich before the dirty bowl made it to the sink.

Her belly felt taut, hard, as though it was encased in metal, and she rubbed it through her nightgown. A spray of acid grazed the round of her throat and then the baby shifted. She suddenly felt like she was suffocating. Sitting made breathing even more difficult, so she walked to the back door, hoping the night air might help. It was dark and cool and the feeling of being trapped disappeared for just a second. She walked outside and lifted her arms up toward the moon, enjoying the cold that wrapped itself around her spine, up through her neck, and into her scalp. She took in a long slow breath and thrust her belly out into the night, making it disappear into the blackness. She thought she heard something, but the sound was too muffled and incomplete to make it distinguishable. She walked closer to the shed and could barely make out a shadow.

Tim.

She crouched down low so that she was out of his sight. He had hung an enormous burlap bag of rice on two large meat hooks that were suspended from the ceiling. The bag drooped down looking misshapen, crippled. She watched as he hammered his fists into its middle. Again and again, fist over fist, his bare shoulders cupped with sweat. He reminded her of a boxer, hopping back and forth on two feet with his hands drawn in closely. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, and she felt even more lightheaded.

Then, suddenly, he stopped. He threw his arms around the bag and buried his face into it. She watched as his back heaved like an enormous balloon, pulling the air in and out so sharply that she thought he might explode.

And then she heard his sobs.