“Wanna play, retard?” the second one said as she moved in behind the first. They were the girls who snickered at Evelyn and me when we left the cafeteria after lunch to go to the library.

The third one lifted the top off her can of Pepsi and it popped open like a gun. She edged in behind the second so that I was surrounded. I did what I usually do when I don’t know what else to do.

P-E-P-S-I.

“Did you say something, Library Girl?” Number one got close to my face. She was sucking hard on a candy that made her lips purple. I turned my head and she laughed.

“I think Library Girl likes my soda.” Number three smiled. She lifted the can high into the air and then tipped it so that it splashed onto the cement, spraying my shoes and legs, but I didn’t move. She put her face close to mine. “What do you think of that?”

I stared down at the foam, which was now sizzling on the ground. The sound of fizz filled my ears until that was all I could hear, so when the fourth girl came out and spoke, I couldn’t make out what she said, but the other three moved away.

The girl was taller than the others and she wore a dark gray shirt with its sleeves cut off. The material around the holes looked frayed and I wondered if it was itchy. The other three got on their bikes, but she came closer. She was chewing gum and blew a big bubble that popped near my nose. It made me jump, which made her laugh. When she spoke, her words were heavy with sugary spit and they didn’t make any sense—maybe because the sound of the fizzing soda was still in my ears. Finally, I had to look away because her face was too close.

When I looked up again, she was getting on her bike and a man was waving his arms and yelling. I rocked back and forth with my hands wrapped around my elbows. I didn’t look up at him and after a while he walked away, too.

It was getting cold and I was tired and hungry and the bench had a stray nail that I kept forgetting to avoid. It had already poked a hole into my tights, so when I moved I could feel the wood pressing up against my bare skin. It felt rough and dry and I wondered if I would get a splinter and if it would hurt and then I thought about how tired I was of being scared of everything all the time. I rocked harder and faster, ignoring the dark and the cold, so that all I could feel was the rhythm running through my body and then I started thinking about flying.

Specifically into space.