Jack leans back a little bit, putting some space between us, though he keeps a tight hold on my hand. “I might not be hollow anymore, but I’m also nowhere near whole, Sadie. I’m still fucked up and closed off in a lot of ways. I’m still healing.”

“Oh.” His declaration connects directly with my lungs, and the single word puffs out of me like a soft sigh. Talk about shattered delusions. My chin falls to my chest, and I stare at our intertwined hands. I want to tell him that it’s okay and I understand, because it is okay and I do understand, but his words seem to carry a heavier purpose. Like he’s letting me down easy before I even have the chance to tell him how I might feel. How I definitely am feeling.

He cups my cheek in his hand, gently pulling my eyes back to his. “Our friendship means more to me than I could ever put into words, Sade. And I can’t risk it, no matter how much I might want to. I could never be enough for you.”

I swallow thickly. “Shouldn’t I get the chance to decide that for myself?”

He sighs, and for half a second, I think he might lean in and kiss me. Instead he releases me, dropping his hand from my cheek, letting go of my hand in his. “Maybe. Probably. But I’m too selfish to let you.”

I scoff at the irony of his words and want more than anything to move back to my own chair, but I don’t trust my legs to support me at the present moment. “I think we all know I’m the selfish one in this bunch.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong about that.” He holds up a hand to stop the protest he knows is coming. “Let me have this one.”

I roll my eyes, turning and pushing myself awkwardly from his chair over to mine.

For a few minutes, we sit in silence, eyes glued on the water and the slowly setting sun.

“I think you should keep the house.”

“Yeah, me too.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps out a quick message. “Realtor appointment canceled.”

“Does that mean you can come home with me tomorrow?” I try to not let the obscene amount of hope I have color my question. “It’s not a big deal if you can’t, of course, and you should totally stay if you need to. Or want to.”

“I can definitely come home with you tomorrow.” His phone buzzes, probably the Realtor calling to beg him to change his mind. Jack stands. “I gotta take this.”

I nod and wave him inside. “Of course.”

He hesitates for a second, like there’s something else he wants to say.