I lean over and kiss his cheek. “I know.” I hesitate before speaking again but bank on his being only half awake for this conversation and therefore not super likely to remember the details. “I think I’m just scared of the idea of other people relying on me. Employees and investors. If I screw up, then other people lose out. If I keep things small, the only person who loses out is me. And maybe you if I can’t pay rent.”

“I promise not to evict you.” He tucks me into his embrace, planting a soft kiss on my shoulder. “I want to see you live your dreams, Sade. I gave mine up a long time ago; you shouldn’t have to give up on yours.”

I pull away from him, brow furrowing at that cryptic comment. “What dreams did you have to give up?”

But he’s already fallen back asleep. Leaving me with even more endless questions to keep me awake.

Sixteen

Jack is still asleep—seriously, bastard—when I slide out of bed the following morning. I dress in jeans, my stolen Captain America hoodie, and Uggs; grab my laptop; leave a note for Jack on the kitchen counter; and head out.

I need to see all of this—numbers and commitments and a real business plan—in black and white. It’s the only way I’ll truly be able to make an informed decision, the only way I can finally put the whole thing to rest. Or dive in headfirst.

Walking over to Café Regular, I purposefully pass by the storefront one more time. Not much has changed since the night before, obviously. The windows are still smudged, a For Lease sign still propped inside. The brick is still hipster and cool. And even though I can’t see it, the outdoor space is still practically begging for a garden.

I let the sight of it fuel me, ordering a large vanilla latte and holing up at a table in the corner, ready to hunker down for the day.

The morning is filled with numbers and research and figuring out how much it costs to have employees. Once I have an estimate for monthly expenses, I break it down by week, and then by day. I use that number to figure out how many arrangements I’d need to sell each day and how much they’d need to be priced at. I price out utilities, and taxes, and health care, and décor. And as much as I’ve never regretted leaving my career in finance, I’ve never been more grateful for it.