“Sometimes it’s better to have no boyfriend than a shitty boyfriend,” James throws in as if he’s able to see inside my head.

“You’ve all had shitty boyfriends,” I mumble in weak protest.

“Yeah, we just don’t keep them around as long as you do.” Corey pairs her biting words with a sweet smile.

I duck my head, keeping my arms pressed tightly over my chest, as if that will somehow push back the tears. I know these are my friends and they love me, but it doesn’t make it any easier to hear that basically everyone in my life thinks I’m a complete relationship disaster.

There are a few seconds of silence until Natasha finally breaks it. “As your boss, I think it would be fascinating to read about your experiences as you go from a serial monogamist to someone who’s going to explore being single. You could reach a whole new audience. Think of all the things you can do and try . . . and write about.” She taps her pen on her notebook. “And as your mentor, and your friend, I think this is something you should do. Take this opportunity to get to know yourself before you saddle up for another long-term relationship.”

“Because if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Corey raises both hands as if she were on an episode of Drag Race. “Can I get an amen?”

No one responds, but she does bring a hint of a smile to my face.

There’s another bout of silence, but this time it feels thoughtful and not constricting.

I mean, Natasha isn’t exactly wrong. I’ve basically been in a relationship since Seth Carson asked me to be his girlfriend when we were fourteen. Since then, I’ve never gone more than a couple of weeks between breaking up with one guy and dating someone new, usually attaching myself to whoever showed interest first.

Still, the idea of being single for an extended period of time feels daunting. Vaguely terrifying. What would I even do with myself?

“All kinds of things,” Natasha responds, so I guess I said that last part out loud. “You could take a class.”

“Or volunteer,” Tessa suggests.

“Or have a one-night stand.” This comes from Corey, but the rest of the group quickly nods their agreement.

“So what, once I check off all those boxes—not committing to that one-night stand, by the way—I’ll magically be ready to be in a relationship again?” I guess I could volunteer or take a class. Though I’m definitely not here for sleeping with some rando for the sake of a column.

“Something like that.” Natasha closes her notebook, signaling she’s just about done with this meeting. “And maybe somewhere along the way, you’ll figure out why you gravitate toward these kinds of relationships in the first place.”