She tries to throw a pillow at me but can’t seem to launch it further than a few inches. “Step four of the post-breakup plan?”

“Oh.” I flash her a grin. “Find a new man, of course.” Finally steady enough to walk comfortably, I leave May to groan into my pillows as I make my way to the kitchen.

Wisely, I decide I should chug a glass of water before I do anything else. And then I swig a second just to be safe. I grab the pint of Tonight Dough and two spoons and start back toward my bedroom. My purse is dropped about halfway down the hallway, and I reach in and pull out my phone, pretty impressed with my foresight.

May is passed out diagonally across my bed when I get back to my room, snoring in a loud and deep-throated way that tells me she’s clearly no longer conscious. I nudge myself in next to her, tucking myself under the covers and turning on While You Were Sleeping. After taking down the entire pint of ice cream, I reach for my phone to set my alarm so I don’t sleep away the entire next day. I have to squint to make the words and numbers on-screen come into focus, but I’m able to make out the fact that I have an Instagram DM. From a username I only see when I really lose my grip and deep-dive on an ex-stalking binge. Something I haven’t done in at least a year. Okay, six months.

I tap in my passcode and navigate over to the app, ignoring all other notifications in favor of plunging directly into my messages.

@SethCarson: Hey. I’ve been trying to call you but every time I get sent straight to voicemail, so you’re either ignoring me or blocked me. We need to talk. Call me when you can, sooner rather than later.

Okay.

Wow.

First of all, the nerve of him to think that his number wouldn’t be blocked. Obviously, I have no desire to talk to him ever again. The only reason he isn’t blocked on social media is because I like to check in occasionally and make sure he is still alone and miserable. As he should be.

Two, I am in no shape to consider any and all implications of this message. “We need to talk”? “Call me”? What the fuck could the two of us possibly have to talk about?