I don’t refute his comment, which he takes for the confirmation it is. Judy is one kick-ass woman—was I not supposed to hang out with her when she asked?

“It was a nice change for a while, but then I realized I don’t think I want to be married to someone who’s got Olympic-level mommy issues.” He crosses his arms over his chest and an actual pout forms on his thin lips. How quickly we’ve moved from a semi-rational conversation to throwing barbs.

“Oh, is that the newest Olympic event? Damn, I can’t believe I missed the trials.” I slip back into sarcasm like it’s my favorite old Princess Leia T-shirt, comforting and safe.

“Lana—”

“Look, Evan”—two can play the condescending game, and I drip it into my voice like I’m pouring salted caramel on a sundae—“I really have nothing left to say to you other than you better drop some serious cash on this table before you leave. I’m going to be drinking on your tab for the rest of the night.” I happily accept a fresh martini from our server—already thankful I like them light on the vodka and heavy on the olive juice—who glares at Evan before retreating to the bar, where a small crowd of employees are pretending not to watch the reality TV drama unfolding right before their eyes.

This is LA though, so chances are pretty good they’ve seen actual reality TV play out in front of them. In fact, I’m sure the cast of Vanderpump Rules has filmed here more than once, so they’ve most definitely seen top-tier cocktail tossing.

I take a long sip of my fresh drink as Evan clearly doesn’t get the hint. “I’m sorry, why are you still here?”

“I’m not just going to leave you alone when you’re well on your way to being drunk. I may not love you, but I’m not that much of a dick.”

I channel my inner Thor, tilting my head to the side and scrunching up my face. “Aren’t you though?” Another quarter of my drink goes down, chilling my throat and numbing my feelings. I know that once those feelings return, my inevitable sobs will make Elle Woods’s look downright peaceful. Therefore, numb they must stay. “Also, I won’t be alone for long. May is already on her way.”

He sits back in his seat, frowning. “Seriously? Do you guys have some kind of bat signal?”