I tuck my hands under my arms, crossing them over my chest as if I can hide the shield blazoned across his hoodie. A hoodie I’ve been wearing every day at home and haven’t yet washed. “Hi,” I finally manage to say after we’ve stared at each other for at least two silent minutes.

“Hi.” He gestures to the counter. “I brought breakfast.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” I hate this. I hate this so hard. Standing here and staring silently like we’re total strangers. Worse than strangers. We’re not even able to make small talk. It’s worse than when I first moved in, both of us stilted and awkward.

He clears his throat. “Well, I missed Valentine’s Day, so breakfast was the least I could do.” He gestures again, this time to the bar stools.

I sit, taking a long sip of my latte, hoping it’ll magically make my brain function again. “Jack, I’m so—”

“Stop.”

I purse my lips, studying the lid of my coffee cup, unable to look at him without bursting into tears.

“Will you please look at me, Sadie?”

I shake my head, lips still tightly sealed.

He sighs, and I feel more than see him move around to my side. “Come on, let’s go sit on the couch.”

I follow him wordlessly, sinking onto the opposite end of the sofa. It’s a little easier to meet his gaze here, with more space between us. Still feels like a throat punch though, seeing the dark circles bruising the skin under his eyes.

He leans forward a little, resting his elbows on his knees. “I should’ve told you everything, Sade. There’s absolutely no excuse for me hiding myself from you, not once it became clear this was something much bigger than just roommates who happened to be friends. You trusted me, and I should’ve given you that same trust in return, but honestly, I was terrified of losing you. And I’m sorry. So sorry.”

My heart clenches. I’m terrified of losing him too. “I wasn’t exactly always a totally open book with you either.” I hide my gaze in my coffee cup. “But why didn’t you trust me?”

He lets out a long breath. “I don’t think I have a good answer for that. I’m sure some part of me feared opening myself up to caring for another person. I know what it feels like to lose the people you love most in the world, and I can’t imagine going through that again. In a lot of ways it felt easier to just wall off that part of my life and pretend it didn’t happen.”

“I forgive you.”