HARLEY: How is everything coming with the store? I can come by this weekend to help!

ME: That’d be great!

ME: A bunch of furniture is getting delivered on Friday so this weekend is going to be all about layout.

HARLEY: Awesome, Nick and I will be there!

NICK: Whoa. I don’t remember signing up for this.

HARLEY: We need your muscles, babe.

ME: Also, it’s in your best interest to help out, remember?

NICK: I seem to recall you placing a lot of emphasis on the silent bit in “silent partner.”

ME: Yeah, we need you to silently move stuff while we tell you where to put it.

JACK: Nick. Please come. Save me.

NICK: Fine, but I’d like it noted for the record that I’m showing up for Jack, and only Jack.

ME: Yeah yeah. You love each other, we know.

GEMMA: We’ve been back in school for two days and I already hate my life so I’ll be there but only if I can drink while we work.

NICK: Yeah, that’s a huge liability so that’s gonna be a no.

GEMMA: What happened to silent?

JACK: I’m bringing you dinner, what do you want?

ME: You don’t have to do that, I’m almost done, swear.

JACK: Yeah, I know how that goes. Almost done means two more hours.

JACK: Did you eat lunch?

ME: I had a bag of pretzels and a Gatorade, which totally hits all the main food groups.

JACK: . . .

ME: Pizza sounds amazing, thanks, babe!

JACK: I’ll see you in twenty minutes.

ME: Could you also bring a level? I’m trying to hang some shelves.

JACK: You got it.

ME: And now that you mention dinner I’m kind of hungry. Could you also get a salad? And cheesy garlic bread?

ME: And maybe some cheesecake?

JACK: Already ordered all of that

ME: God you’re amazing. You’re so getting laid tonight.

JACK: Lol. We both know you’ll be asleep before your head fully hits the pillow.

ME: You’re probably right. Fuck. Sorry.

ME: I’m like the worst new girlfriend ever. Sorry I’m such an asshole.

JACK: Stop talking about my amazing, determined, driven, funny-as-fuck, super-hot girlfriend like that.

ME: I love you.

JACK: I love you too. See you soon.