I’m pretty sure I catch Nick giving the bartender some super-secret signal, requesting his shot be water and not tequila, but honestly, who has time to care about that when there’s more drinking to be done?

Shots having been shot, we order some cocktails and find a high-top table tucked in a back corner.

“And another thing that really pisses me off,” Gemma starts, as if we were in the middle of a conversation, which I don’t think we were, “is that you could’ve had so many dates. Like so many dates, Sadie. And have you had so many dates?”

I hold up my hand, my fingers forming a 0, bringing it close to my eye like it’s a telescope. “I’ve had zero dates. Lots of fucking. Zero dates.”

Nick chokes a little on his beer, but like the wise man he is, he refrains from commenting.

“You should be going on dates! Have you seen you?” Gemma gestures wildly in my general direction, barely managing to not fall off her stool.

Crooking my finger in the Come here motion, I bring her closer to me so I can “whisper” in her ear. “You should also be going on dates because I have seen you and you’re super fucking hot, my friend.”

She pulls away from me, ever so slightly, tears in her eyes. “Do you really think so?”

“No. Yeah. Duh.”

Nick laughs. “You get so Californian when you’re drunk.”

I punch him in the shoulder. Sort of. I might miss his arm altogether, but the intent is there. “Shut up, Nicky.” I hop off my bar stool. “Order me another drink, bitches! I’m going to pee!”

Gemma is calling for more drinks before I even leave the table, which is why I love her. I stumble to the back of the bar, pushing into the bathroom and joining the like-minded crowd of equally intoxicated women waiting for a stall.

“I love your shoes,” one says to me.

“Ohmygod, thank you so much!” I gush. “You have like the most perfect hair. Seriously, I’d kill for it.”

“Please, you’re like a Barbie doll come to life if she weren’t all plasticky and was actually like super cool and a feminist.”

I place a hand over my heart. “That’s literally the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

A flush rings out, and one of the stalls opens up for my new friend. The woman washing her hands at the sink catches my eye in the mirror. “Girl, your man is super hot.”

“He’s not my man, so look all you want!”

She shakes off the excess water from her hands and grabs a paper towel. “Your girlfriend isn’t so bad either.”

“Also not mine, so please, have at it!” God, if only my friends knew how much I was hooking them up while I try to hold in my pee.

“Does she like girls?”