ME: So how do you feel about Thanksgiving?

JACK: What, like in general? As a holiday?

JACK: It’s probably a pretty shitty thing to celebrate, you know, given the mass genocide and total destruction of an entire people’s way of life.

ME: Wow. Okay. So yes, recognize all of that.

ME: Also, how do you feel about having everyone over for Thanksgiving! Yay!

JACK: Oh.

JACK: Who’s everyone?

ME: Us, obvs. Gem, Nick, Harley. Usually we have Harley’s parents too. And I guess this year possibly Nick’s parents if they’re going to do the whole one-big-happy-family bullshit.

JACK: Are they not one big happy family?

ME: Sigh. They are. Disgustingly so.

JACK: I’m not opposed to the idea, but I definitely haven’t ever hosted anything like this before.

ME: Gem and I will take care of everything.

ME: You just have to show up and look cute

JACK: That’s a lot to ask.

ME: Please. You could do that in your sleep.

ME: Oh man, I bet you’re fucking adorable when you sleep.

JACK: I definitely don’t snore as loudly as someone else who lives in this house . . .

ME: Fuck off, I hate you.

JACK: Yay Thanksgiving!

ME: OKAY SO DOES EVERYONE KNOW WHAT THEY’RE BRINGING?!?!?

GEMMA: WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING.

ME: I’m sorry, I just really want everything to go smoothly.

ME: Jack hasn’t explicitly said anything, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time he’s celebrating Thanksgiving since, you know, losing his entire family in one terrible accident, and now we’re all barging in and taking over his house and I want everything to be perfect.

NICK: Way to bring down the mood, Sade.

HARLEY: We understand, and we promise to make the day as perfect as possible.

GEMMA: I mean, I’m cooking, it’s gonna be fine.

NICK: I’m bringing a shit-ton of booze, so it’s gonna be better than fine.

HARLEY: My mom’s making mac and cheese and pie, so pretty sure all our bases are covered.

ME: And I’ve got the flowers and decor covered, obvs.

ME: So I guess we’re in good shape.

ME: If you can all promise not to be totally embarrassing.

GEMMA: I promise nothing.

NICK: Jack loves me no matter how embarrassing I am.

HARLEY: Sadie. It’s going to be fine. Now go get your orders done so you can relax.

ME: Lol. Relax.

ME: I DO NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD.

GEMMA: Oh god, we’re back to shouting.