‘It makes me choke.’ / ‘Lara, you can be so childish. Truly!

Promise not to tell anyone, though.’ / ‘Course not.’

‘There’s the boring bell. Here, have a Polo mint.’

HIS HAIRY tentacles grope under a silver lurex halter,

squeeze her bottom, unbutton black satin hipsters,

his fish salivers her mouth as the two protagonists,

under the spotlight of a lonely alley lamp, squirm, gulp

and hum to the grinding of their damp, bony groins.

Slinking off the high street, the alley worms into darkness.

Lara, distracted lookout, lone silhouette, still birdwatcher,

can’t blink or breathe, the peepshow reels on bluer.

Daniel unleashes his eel, bags it, thrusts urgently

into Susie’s wriggling crotch, as her legs crab his hips,

he humps harder, quicker, until, all gnashing teeth,

he foams off then collapses, a gasping, gnarling grunt.

Not sure whether to applaud or scuttle sidewards,

Lara turns her back. ‘Ere, wipe yourself.’ He hands Susie

some Kleenex. ‘I fancy some chips, d’ya want some?’

‘Okay, oh my God. Lara. I forgot.’ She goes to call

but he grabs her arm. ‘You never said she was a nig-nog.

Don’t bring her again. I’ll go to the disco alone.

I’m not walking in with that. It’s bloody embarrassing.’

Four girls’ brogues hurry silently up Eltham’s High Street.

Susie feels words swell and subside without surfacing.

Excited at her first disco, Lara, hungry for chat, chirps,

‘What’s up, Doc? Dan’s a real hunk, you know.’

GROOVERS DISCO shimmied with skinny teenagers,

seven abreast, girls in line formation dances: five up,

jump, turn, five back, skip, cross, or singing to

Donny’s Osmond’s ‘And they called it, puppy lu-uu-rr-vve’.

Girls projected their blossomings in skimpy halters

under the beery-eyed lustings of pimply, diffident

ganglys whose flat bottoms stiffly shuffled the walls.

In striped Oxford Bags and check Ben Sherman,

Lara felt pyjama-clad next to the fuck-me cling-ons

of her confidently gyrating peers. She tried to be alluring

but felt as with-it as a teddy bear and sexy as Noddy.

‘Why’s Daniel ignoring you, Soos?’

‘I dunno. He’s a pig, actually. I’ll ask him. Hold on.’

She marched over to where he stood, arms crossed.

‘Why’re you ignoring me?’ / ‘I told you, it’s embarrassing.’

‘She’s not it, she’s Lara.’ / ‘She’s a nigger,

a nig-nog, now stick that up your baggy fanny

and chew on it.’ Deep crimson, Susie edged back

to her friend. ‘What did he say?’ / ‘Nothing.’

Lara’s cheeks burned, looking over she caught his eyes

just as he aped a monkey at her, went ‘Hooh! Hooh!’

scratched his armpits, sniggered with his mates.

The room spun, blood sank to her toes, faint, brimming,

Susie’s eyes filled too. Both were instantly sapped.

‘Let’s go home, Soos. I want to go home.’

HOME. I searched but could not find myself.

Not on the screen, billboards, books, magazines