“Where is Simon going to sit? There’s no place for Simon. I was told I could have Simon with me.” Schoen seemed about to hyperventilate, as the McConnell aides stared in shock.

In the cold orbit of Donald Trump, where only one man’s feelings usually prevailed, this was a weird human meltdown, and no one knew what to do.

“I was told I could have Simon,” Schoen repeated, refusing to move on.

The room reflected a collective uh-oh, everybody trying not to look at anyone else, more confounded than ever about the basic mechanics of how Donald Trump was going to defend himself with one of his lead lawyers about to cry.

“You have assistants. I don’t have anybody.” Schoen folded his arms.

“But there are limited places, and your son doesn’t have direct involvement with the case,” Castor said, trying to mollify his new colleague.

“That’s not the point. That’s not the point!” Schoen said, his voice breaking. “I was told I could have him out there. I want him out there,” said the indignant father—a greater role than defending the former president.

“Dad, Dad, it’s okay,” said the son, finally, moments before the second impeachment trial of Donald Trump looked about to collapse into absurdity, dysfunction, and tears, with each person in Room S-211—like all people who had found themselves in Trumpworld—wondering how they had arrived at this freaky place.

1

DEATH STAR

The president had heard something that filled him with fear and brought his campaign to a sudden standstill. The 2020 race was about to enter the key summer months. Joe Biden was sheltering in his basement while the president was taking all the grief for COVID-19, and without his fighting rallies. But attacking Joe Biden, really slaughtering him as only Trump believed he could, was just what the Dems wanted him to do—so he wouldn’t do it. He wasn’t that stupid.

Brad Parscale, the Trump family–appointed campaign manager, who had built one of the biggest political money machines in history, a true Cadillac campaign, was seeing poll numbers sink and everything going south because Donald Trump was afraid to go on the attack. Because the Democrats were fucking with him.

Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and the behind-the-scenes power in the campaign, told Parscale to make the call. They needed a new strategy. They needed the ultimate strategist. Call Karl Rove!

Parscale implored Rove to come to Washington ASAP. He had to sit down with the president. The Dems were screwing with his head. The Dem strategy was diabolical. Trump and the party needed him.