“Because!” Tell her the truth, tell her the truth, tell her the truth. “Because my life was a fucking mess before I met Andrew!” I confess, because it’s at least a truth. “Because I had hit rock bottom, and everything was utter and complete shit. I got fired from Laika, and I was stuck working for a boss who bullied me. I had no friends, I never left my apartment, I was going nowhere with my ten-year-plan. I was going to get evicted! My mom only called when she needed money, and I was going to spend Christmas alone.”

“And that’s why you’re marrying my brother?” Jack repeats. “Because you’re lonely?”

“No.” Yes?

Maybe I thought what I needed was the money, but what I really wanted was a family at Christmas. A mom who planned bonding time and a grandma who loved me anyway and friends. Maybe just for one Christmas, I wanted all the things I’d never had.

On the record player, Dolly goes quiet, spinning into static.

“Let’s listen to something less melancholy,” Jack declares, sitting up so she can riffle through the records again. When she repositions the needle, the cabin fills with an ominous piano and something with strings. It takes a second for me to place it. Then: “Celine Dion? Really?”

Jack nods solemnly. “I love this song.”

“You love ‘It’s All Coming Back to Me Now’?”

“You sound surprised, like you don’t already know about my taste in music.” She stands up, and her wool socks slide along the hardwood floors. Before I have time to fully process what’s happening, Jack starts dancing, swaying. It’s intoxicating to watch, but I’m also just plain intoxicated, so I stand up and join the one-person dance party, bobbing and weaving beside her. Quite seriously, eyes closed and both hands balled into tight fists against her chest, Jack belts the first line in a perfect impression of Celine’s breathy soprano, only awful sounding.

Laughter explodes out of me with an unexpected force, like an unburdening, and I grab my partially exposed stomach. All the tension of the moment leaves my body as I laugh wildly at her performance. Jack does not relent, doesn’t stop putting her heart and soul into it, and she knows every damn line of this melodramatic song. She even sings the backing vocals.

“I finished crying in the instant that you left—sing with me! Don’t act like you don’t know the words!”

The song builds up to the chorus, and she’s right. I do know the words. I haven’t thought about this song in years, but it is, in fact, all coming back to me now.

And fuck—it’s a good song.