“Because I didn’t want to be that awkward, clingy one-night stand who overstays her welcome. It was Christmas, and I figured you’d want to spend it with your wife.”

Jack is still quiet on the other side of the cab while Annie wails through the speakers. A nervous impulse tells me to fill the space. “The family hasn’t mentioned Claire at all, so I’m not sure if y’all are still together, and you spend the holidays apart, or if you’re seeing other people…. I mean, your marriage is none of my business, but—”

The truck hits a patch of ice, and for a second, my stomach defies the laws of gravity as we fishtail. Jack quickly regains control of the car. “No,” she says. “Claire and I aren’t still together.”

The truck goes silent, and I wait for Jack to open up the way she always has with me.

“Claire and I met after I dropped out of college, when I first moved back to Portland,” Jack starts. “My family had just cut me off, and I was desperate to feel like I belonged somewhere, with someone. We got married at twenty-two. Claire and I…”

Jack traces her thumbs along the seam of the steering wheel, her eyes firmly fixed on the road in front of her. I notice the jut of her wristbone, so surprisingly delicate compared to the rest of her. “We didn’t know ourselves well enough to meld our lives together forever. Two years into our marriage, Claire realized she is polyamorous. And at the time, it made sense to me to try polyamory,” Jack continues. I stroke Paul Hollywood’s ear to calm myself. It feels like we’re still fishtailing.

“Monogamy felt like this patriarchal vestige I was supposed to hate, and most of our friends were poly. I didn’t have any interest in seeing other people, but Claire started dating outside of our marriage, and for a while, it worked. Claire was happier, which meant I was happier.”

Jack pauses, and I stare at the tendons in her throat as she works her jaw, at the leap of muscle beneath her skin. She’s still not looking at me. It’s almost like she’s telling this story to herself, the way I told our story to myself in a series of messy comic panels.

“Unfortunately,” Jack exhales ironically, “it turns out I like outdated patriarchal vestiges, and I had a hard time with Claire dating other people. And then I felt shitty for having a hard time with it, because I felt like I should be evolved enough to not be jealous. I didn’t want to want to be monogamous. But I don’t know…. I guess I like the idea of having that one person to be your witness through life. Maybe that’s… regressive.”