I still can’t believe he bought us a fucking cat. A huge array of emotions is swimming around my stomach tonight, and part of it is I’m really homesick. It feels like a huge part of myself is missing, and there’s a deep ache in my chest because of it. I can’t wait to see him. Breathe him in. Touch him. Tell him I’m in love with him. I refuse to wait any longer to tell him how I feel.

I want this with him. Forever. I should’ve told him months ago, but something was keeping me quiet. Maybe finishing this book set me free. Finally letting me move on from the past. Subconsciously, I think it was holding me back. Anchoring me to the pain from before. And getting it all out and finishing it gave a piece of me back. Gave me the ability to accept and give the love I need.

My phone dings from the nightstand, pulling me out of my thoughts. Grabbing and flipping it over, a goofy, completely involuntary grin splits on my face. It’s a text from Stone with a picture of him and the cats lying in bed with the caption ‘Missing you. We love you.’ I sit down on the corner of the bed, staring at the picture and unable to look away. I don’t even notice I’m crying until the tears fall onto my screen and my vision goes blurry.

Whoever said home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling, is absolutely fucking correct.

He’s my home.

******

The plane just landed, and my heart is pounding in my chest. I’ve spent half the flight sleeping, the other half obsessing over what I’m going to say to Stone when I see him. I could just plain and simply say, “I love you,” but that somehow seems insignificant.

I’m off the plane at baggage claim, and I’m still no more sure of what I’m going to say when I see him in ten minutes. My hands are shaking so bad, I can barely grab my suitcase off the baggage carousel. You’d think this is the first time we’re seeing each other naked or something. I can’t remember ever feeling this nervous about anything in my life.

Not giving my undergrad valedictorian speech. Not when I had to present my dissertation before getting my PhD. Not even when I came to Lubbock and saw Stone for the first time in five years.

This is different. Bigger. And it has to be perfect. He deserves the perfect words.