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Chapters (50)
  1. Prologue
  2. Chapter One
  3. Chapter Two
  4. Chapter Three
  5. Chapter Four
  6. Chapter Five
  7. Chapter Six
  8. Chapter Seven
  9. Chapter Eight
  10. Chapter Nine
  11. Chapter Ten
  12. Chapter Eleven
  13. Chapter Twelve
  14. Chapter Thirteen
  15. Chapter Fourteen
  16. Chapter Fifteen
  17. Part Two
  18. Chapter Sixteen
  19. Chapter Seventeen
  20. Chapter Eighteen
  21. Chapter Nineteen
  22. Chapter Twenty
  23. Chapter Twenty-One
  24. Chapter Twenty-Two
  25. Chapter Twenty-Three
  26. Chapter Twenty-Four
  27. Chapter Twenty-Five
  28. Chapter Twenty-Six
  29. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  30. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  31. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  32. Chapter Thirty
  33. Chapter Thirty-One
  34. Chapter Thirty-Two
  35. Chapter Thirty-Three
  36. Chapter Thirty-Four
  37. Chapter Thirty-Five
  38. Chapter Thirty-Six
  39. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  40. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  41. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  42. Chapter Forty
  43. Chapter Forty-One
  44. Chapter Forty-Two
  45. Part Three
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Epilogue

I need this moment. I need him. I need him like I’ve never needed anyone or anything before, and it’s heartwrenching, not knowing if I’ll ever get to keep him, call him mine. Or if we’ll always be missed opportunity and right person, wrong time.

I can’t fathom living the rest of my life like that.

As much as I don’t want to, I pull out of him and collapse onto the bed beside him. I tie the condom off, setting it on the bedside table, because if I get up, I’m sure the bubble of bliss will pop, and I’m not ready for that. He rests his head on my chest, most likely hearing the chaotic drumming of my heart, as my fingers move gently through his hair. What I would give to have this be our every day.

What I would give to be able to fall asleep with him night after night, only to see his face every morning glowing in the morning sun.

We lie wrapped up in each other’s embrace for a long while. Neither of us says anything, but so much is being said anyway. When his fingers caress my skin, it feels like stars dancing across the sky. After what feels like hours, he tilts his head until his sleepy gaze is connected with mine. His lip curls into a boyish grin, and I desperately want to wrap up this moment in a box to replay over and over when he’s not around.

“Stay the night?” he asks, shocking the hell out of me.

My brows raise in surprise. “You want that?”

“It’d be nice,” he admits sheepishly, resting his head back down on my chest. “I have to be up early, but if you want to, you can.”

Once again, I’m met with a strained throat and too much pressure behind my eyes. I slam them shut, tightening my grip on him. “I’d like that,” I manage to spit out. It’s not lost on me that we’ve never fallen asleep together in a bed, besides the night we were too drunk to appreciate it.

This could be every night…

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Cash DeMarco

The state of in between in the morning where you don’t know if you’re asleep or awake, where everything is right in the world, and all worries simply don’t exist, is one of the best places to be. The fuzzy warmth that wraps around you like ivy to a tree.

Regret doesn’t exist in the in-between. Self-doubt doesn’t exist.

You can just be.