“Yes, like a sister. I heard. How long has this been going on? All seven years I’ve been away?”

“Of course not.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know.” He let out a huff of breath. “It’s been gradual. It started out with stupid flirting, but then it…it just got bigger.”

“How long?”

“Maybe since last Christmas.”

She felt like she was in the last room left in a burning building, flames licking underneath the door, smoke billowing, taking up all the space in her lungs. “I’m just…trying to wrap my head around this. For six months, you’ve led a double life? You’ve been lusting after her, whispering….stealing moments together…kissing her?” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “I’m such a fool.” The pain was so big and bright, like a sun that was swallowing her whole.

“No, you’re not. You’re the best person I know.” He seemed to have found his purpose. “I swear to you, I’ve never slept with her.”

For some reason that stupid comment made her stronger. “Would you stop saying that? It’s not your free pass. Every second with me for the past six months was a lie. Every time you had sex with me you saw her face. God, Marcel, why didn’t you tell me something was wrong? Why didn’t you ask for more?”

“Can you give more?”

The careless comment kicked her so hard in the stomach she felt nauseated.

“No.” He reached for her, but she shrugged him off. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant…you’ve been in school, developing your products…when you come home, you have to do your duties here…there hasn’t been time for us. I’m not blaming you. I swear I’m not. You’ve amazing. I admire you.”

“I guess admiration doesn’t inspire a man to rip off a woman’s clothes. I’m not sure, though, after hearing you lust after another woman, that I can stand to hear how well you think of me.” She drew in a shaky breath and looked him fully in the eyes for the first time. “I trusted you, Marcel. With everything in me, I trusted you, and you broke my heart.”

All the anxiety, the urgency to fix the situation, seemed to crash, and he just looked defeated. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I’m so damn sorry.”

She believed him. She did. “I don’t care. While I’ve been believing in us, you’ve been stealing secret moments with your lover behind my back. I don’t see how we can come back from this.”

“What’re you saying? We’re still getting married. We have to. You know—”

“Do not talk to me about my duty to this country. When my parents find out what you’ve done, they won’t want me to marry you.”