Fin raised an eyebrow. “You were expecting...?”

“I was expecting it to taste like old fish like that last poison you had me drink.”

“That poison cured your allergies if I recall correctly, sister.”

Via nodded. Fair enough. Under Fin’s watchful eye, she leaned back in the chair and laid the rough-hewn amethyst crystal over her heart. She closed her eyes and breathed deep, willing the stone to take some of her anxieties away. Whether it was the crystal or simply her friend’s loving presence, Via couldn’t say, but her racing heart gave way into a softer tempo. A tear leaked out of one side of her eye.

“No matter how many knots you tie, this problem is still just made from one rope, Violetta.”

Via cracked an eye and looked at Fin. “What do you mean?”

“You want to be with this man, and you’re telling yourself you can’t. And, good God, do you have a lot of reasons.”

“Those reasons stand,” Via insisted.

Fin shrugged. “Only if you prop them up.”

Via huffed a little bit. “Won’t you just leave me alone and let me be mean to myself?”

Fin laughed. “Via, either you’re brave enough to try or you’re not.” She paused. “I’ll love you even if you want to keep being a little coward.”

Via laughed and groaned and slurped more tea. “Things were easier with Evan. Even if they weren’t perfect.”

Fin rolled her lovely, dark eyes. “They weren’t easier, they were just more predictable. Why do you keep telling yourself these lies about Evan? I don’t get it.”

The answer floated up like ice in a glass being filled with water. Via clamped down on it, tested the strength of it. “There was very little danger of ever truly wounding Evan. And I really liked that. Depended on it, actually. Because I knew I was never in danger of dragging Evan down with me. He never cared enough to get dragged down.”

“Well,” Fin said, taking a small green crystal out of her pocket and laying it on her own forehead. “We’re just catching all the fish today.” She slid her eyes over to Via. “Don’t you see that the same thing that kept you with Evan is the same thing that’s gonna keep you from Seb?” She snatched the crystal off her forehead and sat up, her eyes blazing. “But let’s forget about the men for a second here, sister. The real issue is that you treat your whole life like a play you’re staging. You’re trying to get every set piece positioned just perfectly so that when the actors show up, everything goes according to plan.”

Via grimaced at how true that was. “But life’s not a play.”

“Nope. And there’s no script. And besides, a good actor doesn’t need a stage.”

“Ugh,” Via groaned, scrubbing at her eyes with the heel of her hand. “Why is it so hard to ask for what you want?”

“What do you want?”

Via took a deep breath. “I just want a steady life. No more surprises. I want to be able to rely on someone besides myself. And you, of course. I don’t want to date a twerp who can’t keep a job or remember to pay his electricity bill. I don’t want to take care of everyone around me. I just want to feel safe. And secure. And somehow, I’m single again, crushing on a man who may or may not be crushing back. And even if he is crushing, who knows if he wants to date? And if he wants to date, who knows if he’s stable? I had everything nice and level, and then my idiot heart went and stomped on the other end of the seesaw.”