“That’s exactly it. I have no idea what he wants! What if he just wants to hook up? And then what if people at school find out! Fin—” Via cut herself off, gulping down an acid feeling in her throat. The idea of becoming a source of gossip at her place of work was so abhorrent to Via that she felt momentarily sick. She’d learned at age twelve never to rock the boat again. Drama got kids switched to new foster homes. Drama equaled instability. And Via needed a rock-solid foundation for her life to even feel remotely comfortable.

“So, you don’t want to start anything with him because you don’t know whether or not it’ll end up being casual?”

“I guess?” Now Via was even confusing herself. “But I also don’t know if it makes sense to hope for something serious, considering how badly I botched this whole Evan thing. I mean, how could I ever, in good conscience, insert myself into Seb’s and Matty’s lives knowing exactly how mixed up and torn up and screwed up I am?”

“Via.”

Via barely heard her. “Fin, you and Jetty are the only two relationships in my life that I’ve been able to keep. I—you know that I always end up isolating myself from people in some way or another. I’m too sad, by nature, you know? Or maybe not nature, but by circumstance. When my parents died, it changed me. Loneliness, sadness, it’s just a part of who I am. How can I put that on somebody like Sebastian, when he’s got a kid and a life and...”

Via dropped her face into her hands. “The whole thing is a nonstarter. It’s a bad idea to be casual, it’s a bad idea to be serious. God, I should have just worked things out with Evan.” She lifted her face from her palms. “I can’t believe I did this to my fucking life. Just tossed everything up in the air like a bowl of confetti. I spent so much time building things with Evan, and then in just a few months, everything goes up in smoke. I mean, God, how could I have let this get this far?” Via dropped her face back into her hands. “If I had just realized what was happening, I could have pulled back from Sebastian, and I never would have gotten feelings for him, and then I could just still be with Evan. Instead, I’m out here in no man’s land, adrift as fuck.”

“Via! Good God!” Fin jumped up, laughing her ass off. She strode back into the house and came back out a minute later with a cup of rosy tea in one hand and huge, honking amethyst in the other. “Good God. Here. Drink this and put this over your heart chakra.”

Via had been patched up by Fin’s unorthodox methods way too many times to scoff. So she took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart, and chugged the tea. “Oh. It actually tastes good.”