Tyler recrossed his feet on the coffee table. “You mean like right after Cora died?” Seb could hear the very careful tone in his friend’s voice.

Seb didn’t have to ask what he meant. Tyler had been there. Seb hadn’t just felt debilitating grief, he’d felt like everything in his life was...off. Greens weren’t the same green. His regular coffee cup was heavier and wider. Old familiar songs had new, unexpected lyrics. Even his body had felt different. He’d looked in the mirror and seen someone else, a sad, shell-shocked brother, maybe. Sebastian hadn’t felt like he was in the right life, or the right body, for a year after Cora had died. It had taken that long.

“No, not like that.” He glanced up at Tyler and finished peeling the label off his beer. “You don’t have to worry about me going back to that place. Really. It wasn’t like that.” He gathered his thoughts. “The whole time I just felt like I was an actor in a play or something. She’d be like, ‘tell me about yourself, Sebastian,’ and I’d look into the wings like, ‘line.’ You know?”

“No, I don’t really know. I’m always effortlessly charming and perfectly self-assured on dates.” Tyler grinned when Seb blew a farting noise. “Was she boring or something?”

“No.” Yes, a little. “She was totally fine. I just don’t know about this whole dating-for-the-sake-of-dating thing.”

“Trust me, dude. It’s good for you.”

“Daddy?” Matty was in the doorway, knuckling one eye and looking like someone had run a vacuum cleaner over his hair.

“Hey, buddy.” Seb set his beer down and opened his arms to his son. “What’s up?”

Matty climbed into Seb’s lap and rested his head on his shoulder. Seb relished it. Only when Matty was very, very tired was he this snuggly anymore. His kid was growing up. Losing those chubby cheeks. Seb knew that Daddy was on its last legs. He was only ever Dad when Matty was around friends. It plucked a bittersweet chord in his heart. Of course he wanted his kid to grow up. And of course he wanted his kid to stay a baby forever.

“I’m thirsty.” Matty reached down and tangled one hand in Crabby’s fur.

“Why didn’t you drink the water in your water bottle?” Seb always left water there for him. He had somehow ended up with the thirstiest child on the planet.

“I wanted some of your water.” Matty’s sleepy words were mostly just hot kid-breath into Seb’s face, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. Matty always insisted that whatever water Seb was drinking tasted better than any other water. So, for Matty’s entire life, Seb had been drinking water with kid backwash in it.

Planting one arm around his son, Seb leaned toward one of the side tables and grabbed a glass from earlier in the day. “Here you go.” He turned to Tyler. “You can head out if you want.”

“Nah, I’ll stay for the game.” Ty nodded toward the baseball game he’d been watching.