“I’m so damn proud of you, son. At first, I wasn’t sure about you. But you’re a real man now, about to settle down with a real woman.” He took a long sip of his beer, still smiling. “Your mother and I would be honored to help you with whatever you need–an engagement ring, the wedding. You name it.”

I took a more reasonable sip of my own beer, mulling over what he had said. Something wasn’t sitting right with me, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. “What do you mean by ‘real man’?”

He rolled his eyes, like he couldn’t believe that was what I was focusing on. “You always hear those stories about people who realize their kids are…different. That their romantic afflictions aren’t normal.”

By this point in my life, I understood what ‘those people’ were called, having attended a university far more open-minded than my hometown. “You mean gay?”

I knew what I was doing. I was goading him. My father and I had never had a solid relationship, but the moment it seemed like I was going to get married all of a sudden we were best friends? No thanks.

“Don’t start, Luther. Your mother and I are just happy you’ll have a nice, successful, normal life. That’s all.” He gave me a look that spoke more than his words, and I knew what he was saying.

Don’t ruin this for me. Act normal. Pretend to be happy.

I shook my head, draining my pint as fast as I could. My father watched in silence. I said nothing, and rose to my feet. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll let you know when the wedding is.”

How had it taken me so long to realize my parents weren’t the good people I had always thought they were? My mom went to church every Sunday and made freezer meals for those who weren’t able to cook for themselves. My dad was always ready to give the shirt off his back to people in need. Except that night at the bar, I realized something. They were always willing to help, as long as the person was normal. Respectable. Abided by their moral code.

I went home and got drunk, figuring out ways to break things off with both Carol and my parents. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be normal anymore. I wanted to be myself.