I pulled away, wide eyed. “You never thought you would see a woman with more than one man?”

“I grew up in a different time, Sav. Differences were shunned, not embraced.” His face tightened, and I ached to take those bad feelings away, one by one. “By the time I reached my forties, free love was a thing. But growing up, it was hidden away.”

I rested my hand against his cheek, feeling his jaw working and then softening beneath my touch. “Will you tell me about your dream?”

He leaned into my hand, giving me a soft smile. “Will you listen?”

I smiled back, leaning down to kiss him. “Every day for the rest of our cursed lives.”

14. Luther

I think I had always been looking for more, since the very beginning. Maybe it was why I was always so desperate for love. Something tangible to cling to. Something that would never leave me. Because love was unconditional, right? True love didn’t judge, or however the phrase went. So true love was what I was searching for, from the youngest age I could remember. Something bigger than I was, bigger than life. Love had to be more.

And so I set off on my young life, searching for love in every nook and cranny possible. I was seven the first time I kissed a girl. I expected it to set off fireworks and emotions like never before. But it didn’t really feel all that different from when I had practiced on my arms in the bathroom at home. It was missing something. That more factor. Lightning and sparks, fuel to keep me alive.

Something had to be wrong with her. Maybe even at seven years old, Suzy from down the street was destined to be a terrible kisser. Despite my lackluster first attempt, I kept kissing girls. I figured it would get better eventually.

I don’t remember how old I was when I realized maybe the girls weren’t the problem. I was.

The first time I fell in love was 1946 and I was sixteen. A clerk at the grocery store, with the most dazzling smile. Your first love is something else, isn’t it? I had kissed dozens of girls by this point, but this was different. This was more. This was love. Of course, there was no possible way for us to be together forever, but I still dreamed about it at night. What our life would be like. For an entire summer, I kept offering to go back to the grocery store whenever my mom forgot something. My hand was on the door before she could even get money from her purse, laughing before she’d send me out for milk or eggs or whatever she needed that day.

James. He was the checkout clerk at the Piggy Wiggly, and he was twenty years old.