I called Talia and told her I couldn’t make up my mind. That on the one hand I was too tired to go on, but on the other hand I felt I’d come too far to quit now.

“Maybe the Meaning of Life Ltd. isn’t for everyone,” she replied hesitantly.

“What do you mean?”

“That maybe, maybe you really should give up. Even if it’s just for the time being.”

“Give up?”

“Yes. I don’t think they’ll be able to help you.”

“But you said they helped you. You yourself said that if it wasn’t for the Meaning of Life Ltd. you’d still be sitting on the beach in Ga’ash.”

“But you’re something else,” she said, and I realized that sentence had been lingering in her head for some time. “I mean, I just think you’re right. That in your case all these search days are just distracting you.”

“Distracting me from what?” I asked, not sure how to respond to her sudden resolve. To the feeling that she had given up on me.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t. But lately I’ve been thinking that maybe there isn’t always one right answer, and that’s also something one needs to learn how to live with,” she said, and took a few deep breaths. “Maybe people should stop searching for one grandiose meaning and start living for the small, simple things, like a child’s laughter, or green grass. I don’t know, whatever makes them smile.”

Now it was my turn to be quiet. After a few moments of silence, I asked, “You really think that’ll be enough for me?”

“Maybe,” she replied.

“Then apparently you don’t understand.”

“Apparently.”

There was silence on both ends of the line, until I told her the MADA ambulance was already waiting for me outside.

“Good luck,” she said.

I didn’t answer.

8.

TALIA LEFT. YARON called me the following day, said she had been invited to continue her research in some Swiss institute and had to fly out without saying goodbye. “But don’t worry, you’ll meet your new sponsor tomorrow. A lovely guy named Amir who has just set up an Australian mongoose farm in the Arava. He can’t wait to meet you.”

And then it dawned on me.

I caught a northbound bus, got off at a stop on Highway 2, crossed the bridge, and kept going until I found myself standing in front of a fence sealing off the entrance to the beach. I slipped in through a small hole and started walking along the dirt trail leading to nowhere.

She was sitting right at the end of the trail, looking out at the sea. I sensed she wasn’t surprised to see me there.