Dad said he had felt the same way after high school. That living with structure was tough, but I had the feeling it went deeper than that. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ignore the strange insight that dawned on me—there are billions of people in the world, and most, if not all, of them have no idea what they’re doing here. I didn’t know where to start looking for answers. I wasn’t into the whole recluse-on-an-African-mountaintop bit, so I gave it the greatest effort I was willing to make—I googled “the meaning of life.” The results ranged from a meditation center in Rishon LeZion to the official website of Beitar Jerusalem F.C. A small ad at the bottom of the second page caught my eye:

“The Meaning of Life Ltd.”

A personalized program for finding meaning in just thirty days!

I filled out my details.

The following day, a company representative showed up at my doorstep; a young woman dressed in a white blouse, asking me what I wanted to do with my life.

“I don’t really know.”

“Excellent, excellent,” she exclaimed, and said she had the perfect program for me. “You have to join our search days,” she asserted and sighed. “Seriously, it’s the perfect fit for you.”

“Search days? What’s that?”

“You didn’t see the piece they did on us for Channel 2?” she asked, genuinely surprised. “I don’t want to give any spoilers. Come and see for yourself.” She explained that if I signed up for the deluxe program, I’d also receive a weekly support group session, a personal mentor, and a voucher for a steakhouse uptown. She stressed that unlike all those amateurish programs springing up like mushrooms, theirs boasted a Ministry of Health approval and 82 percent success rates. We agreed on a trial period, and that very day I found myself at my first support group meeting.

2.

THE GROUP COUNSELOR was a guy called Yaron. Until six years ago, he had been a VP at a private investment firm; made shitloads of money, but was never truly happy.

“I remember that feeling of heaviness in your chest,” he said, holding his left hand up to his heart and taking a deep breath. He said that thanks to the Meaning of Life Ltd., he discovered gardening was what gave his life meaning. That once he came to this realization, his life had transformed completely. “Who knew a single anemone could solve so many problems?”

Yaron set off a round of introductions, and very soon I felt that everyone else in the room had a better reason for being there than me. Yakov was searching for meaning because his kids had flown the coop; Miri had recently divorced her husband of twenty years, and since coming back from India in a stupor, Lian hadn’t been able to find herself.