At nine, I called her twice, but she didn’t answer. I texted her a question mark. At ten thirty she texted back that she hadn’t seen my message because she was in the shower. I wrote “ok” and went to bed. She called a few times, but I put my phone on silent. Trying to think as little as possible, I soon fell asleep. In the middle of the night she woke me up. Stroked me for a while. I couldn’t look her in the eye. I didn’t want to know.

“You want me to explain?”

I said no. She gave me a kiss on the back of my neck and lay down beside me. At that moment, the thought that Debby would no longer be mine started to creep in. I imagined myself waking up alone in the world, without her big body next to mine.

When I woke up in the morning, Debby had already left for work. I stayed in all day and went to the office only in the evening. Bruno asked how it had gone, and I told him it couldn’t have gone better. Then I went to the lab, sat at the desk, and started building. It took me about half an hour to make her nightmare. I didn’t do much. Just stood her in front of the mirror. Naked. With all her flabby skin and spots I love. I stood her in front of the mirror and just showed her the truth. That I was the only one who’d love a big woman like her. That she wasn’t worth much on her own, wouldn’t actually be able to start a new life without me. I finished building the nightmare and swore to myself it was the last time. That after things settled down, and we went back to loving one another, everything would work itself out.

4.