The next day was a Friday, and that night I looked up at the ceiling and told Debby I was on the verge of going crazy. She asked why. I wanted to tell her that dealing with her nightmares was agonizing. That it wasn’t so much the nightmares themselves as the realization of how much damage I could cause her if I only chose to. But I didn’t say a word. Not only because I wasn’t allowed to talk about it, but because I didn’t want her to be afraid of me. I thought it might be a good idea to quit my job. To tell Bruno I couldn’t take it, and that I wasn’t going to deal with anyone’s nightmares anymore.

But Debby wanted a house, so I stayed.

3.

AS TIME PASSED I had more and more nightmares of my own, at least twice a week. But they didn’t really work on me, because I already knew every trick in the book. I’d find myself getting bored by some man pointing a gun at me, and count the minutes until I woke up. Building all those nightmares had left me immune to my own, and that’s exactly what troubled me. I had been sure that dealing with such dark material damaged the soul, but other than my fear of hurting Debby, it didn’t seem to do anything. On the contrary, every time I met someone, I custom made them a nightmare in my mind. I’d buy milk at the supermarket and ask myself what would scare the cashier. Bruno observed I was enjoying it all just a little too much. Said that a few customer reports had mentioned sleeping pills, and he asked me to go easier on the clients. I said sure, but in truth I couldn’t help myself. I was feeding off all those fears, and I didn’t know how to rein them in.

The greatest source of comfort in those days were Debby’s dreams. I could spend three hours building us a living room. I read her reports over and over again, thinking about what she was going through. The name of that designer she was working for started appearing more frequently. It was just the two of them at the office, and they had several meetings a day. It made me jealous. I asked her about him, and she said he was a nice guy. I told her the truth, that I was scared she’d leave me, and she hugged me tightly and said she’d never leave. Debby wanted us to talk more in the morning, but all I wanted was for us to lie together in bed with her arms around me.