“I’m not avoiding it,” Josh says. “I just can’t do it.”

“Is it too hard? What is it, math?”

“No, I did the math. Math is easy. It’s this stupid shit I have to do for computer class.”

“Stupid crap,” I say, correcting him. I think. Maybe “stupid crap” is just as bad. I sit down next to Josh to see what it is he’s having trouble with. He slides the assignment in front of me, and I look over it.

It’s a research assignment about ancestry. There are five things required for the term, and one of them is a family tree that was due on Friday. The other is a generational assignment using an ancestry website that’s due next Friday.

“We’re supposed to find our relatives using some website. I don’t know any of their names or even where to start,” he says. “Do you?”

I shake my head. “Not really. I met Sutton’s father once, but he died when I was a kid. I don’t even remember his name.”

“What about my dad’s parents?” Josh asks.

“I don’t know anything about his family, either.”

Josh takes the papers from me. “They really should stop having kids do these things; no one has normal families anymore.”

“You’re right, actually.” I hear a text ping on my phone in the kitchen, so I stand up to go check it.

“Did you ever try to find my dad for me?” Josh asks.

I did try, but Tim never responded to the voice mail I left him. I just don’t want to tell Josh that because I know it’ll be disappointing. I pick up my phone but walk back to Josh before looking at my texts. “I haven’t had a chance to really look into it yet. You sure you want me to?”

Josh nods. “He might want to hear from me. I’m sure Sutton has done everything she can to keep us apart.”

I feel a stab of concern in the center of my chest. I was hoping Josh would be comfortable enough here to not want to find his dad, but that was a ridiculous hope. He’s a twelve-year-old boy. Of course he wants to find his father.

“I’ll help you try to find him.” I point to the papers. “But do what you can with that for now. As long as you try, they can’t give you a bad grade for not knowing your grandparents.”

Josh leans over his work, and I finally look down at the text. It’s from Lily.

Can I call you?

She should know she can call me any second of the day, and I would answer. I take my phone to my room and call her without texting her back. She picks up in the middle of the first ring.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing?”

“Helping Josh with his homework. Trying to pretend I’m not thinking about you.” She’s quiet after I say that, and I immediately sense something is off. “Are you okay?”