When I don’t answer, she leans over the table, so that her face is closer to me. “I miss you, Matt,” she says. “Everything’s just so… boring without you.”

“I thought you were busy with Darryl, and the band, and everything.”

“I mean, yeah,” she says, and she can’t keep herself from smiling. “But with you spending lunch hour here and Adam off at rehearsals, I feel… weird. The guys in the band are nice, but it’s not the same. There are things I just can’t talk about with anyone but you.” Kimmie looks over both her shoulders, making sure no one is listening in, and then she whispers, “We did it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It. Darryl and I did it.”

“Oh.” Whenever we get drunk, we always end up asking ourselves the same question: Out of Kimmie, Adam, and me, who’s gonna be the first to lose their virginity? I always knew it wasn’t gonna be me, even though I hoped it would be. “Oh. And how was it?”

“Amaaaazing,” she says. “I went over to his place after school yesterday, and his parents weren’t home, so…”

“Did you use protection?”

“Of course,” she says.

“That’s good,” I reply. “I’m happy if you’re happy.”

“I am. So happy,” she says. “But again—I miss you. And Adam’s been stressing so much. Between finals coming up, and the play, and you not talking to him, he’s barely been himself lately. He needs you to be there for him.”

I wish I could tell her that I am—that no matter what happens, I’ll always be here for the two of them. But what I really, truly wish I could say is that I’ve also barely felt like myself lately. I want to tell Kimmie that I need her and Adam more than they could ever need me, especially now that Pa’s hearing is getting closer.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and I really mean it. “I’m sorry I’ve been acting so shitty lately. I’m just so—”

“You don’t have to explain. I know you’ve been focusing on school and everything, but… don’t forget that we need you.”

I bite my lip. “Memorial Day is coming up.”

Kimmie’s face lights up. We’ve had a tradition since freshman year—on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, we pick an area of the city to go out in, and we try to find a bar that won’t card us.

“Why don’t we go out? You, me, Adam, and Darryl?”