I know right away that Sophie isn’t here. The first thing she always does when she gets home is turn on every light, because she hates being in the dark, and right now the windowless kitchen and living area are pitch-black. I turn to my left, feeling the wall for the light switch, and when I find it, I have to blink a few times to get used to the brightness.

“Sophie?” I call out just in case, but there’s no answer.

I don’t realize I’ve been holding my breath until I start to feel like I’m choking, and that’s when I let out all the air in my lungs. I would’ve thought that my stomach would feel heavy, but the truth is that I feel nothing at all. I feel empty. It’s as if I’m barely even here, as though this is nothing but a strange dream and I’m going to wake up any second.

I’m not sure how long I stand there, looking at the empty apartment in front of me, but suddenly, the emptiness is replaced by a hundred questions that start spinning inside my mind. What happened to Sophie? Where is she? What do I do?

I know I can’t just stand here. I need to go out there and find my sister, but I have no idea how to do it. Where do I start? How am I even supposed to find the strength to move my legs and go look for her?

It starts in my hands—a tingling sensation that quickly shoots up my arms and spreads to the rest of my body. It feels a lot like restlessness, like desperation. I turn on the spot and run out the door without another thought.

I’m not even sure where I’m headed. As panic continues to rise in my chest, I try to push it aside so I can think clearly for a second. Ma would’ve come back from work and stopped by the apartment for a while before going to pick up Sophie from school. So maybe—maybe—Sophie wasn’t home when they came to take my mom away. But she couldn’t still be at school after all these hours, waiting all by herself, could she? Either way, I have nowhere else to go. I need to start there.

I burst out the door of our building and start running south, in the direction of Sophie’s elementary school. Before I can get very far, however, I realize something. If Ma never came to get her, there’s someone else she could’ve gone with.