The streets become more alive as we approach El Chaparral. Finding a spot to pull over is near impossible some days, with all the traffic, and taxis dropping off people, and pedestrians moving between the cars. There are times when Papi has to slow down just long enough for me to jump out, but today we get lucky. A car pulls out ahead of us, and Papi takes its spot.

“Are you okay?” he asks as I unbuckle my seat belt.

I freeze, trying not to look directly at him. I don’t want to make him feel any more guilty than he already does, so I choose to lie.

“Yeah,” I answer. “I’m fine.”

Papi presses his lips together, nodding slowly. I know none of this has been easy for him, either. I know how badly he wishes things were different, how hard he’s tried to figure out alternatives, how long it took him to accept that this was the only way—that me taking a job on the US side of the border was the only remaining option we had to keep the family afloat.

I reach for my bag. With one hand wrapped around the strap and the other on the door handle, I try my best to give him a small smile. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

Without waiting for his answer, I step out of the car and start walking across the esplanade, toward the big sign that says PUERTO FRONTERIZO EL CHAPARRAL. This is as far as people who won’t be crossing the border can go—where parents wish their children a good day at school, and where people say goodbye to loved ones who are leaving for a while. I walk past the small crowd to get onto the ramp—a long, zigzagging structure that leads up to a bridge—and hold on to the straps of my backpack as I tighten my pace.

There are countless people rushing up the ramp all around me, many of them students wearing backpacks. There’s a good amount of workers, too, some of them in plain clothes, others in uniforms, and even a few dressed in suits and high heels. Almost everyone here knows exactly what they’re doing. They know that you have to walk as quickly as you can, because for every person you pass, you’ll end up saving a few minutes.