I’m starting to feel as though there’s an invisible wall between us. It was Sophie who made me start noticing it. Last night, while we were getting ready for bed after talking to Ma and Pa, she turned to me and said, “That wall that people talk about. Is this what they mean?”

For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. I’d never thought about it that way. I’d never realized that, even though an actual barrier hasn’t been fully built at the border, there are walls that have been put up all around us, keeping Ma and Pa away from Sophie and me, changing our entire lives.

“No, Sophie,” I said. “This wall is much, much worse.”

The bodega is the only place where I feel like being anymore. It’s during my long shifts, when I’m busy carrying heavy boxes and restocking the shelves, that I feel like I’m able to breathe normally again. Sometimes, I even manage to pretend that life is still the way it used to be—that Pa is out running errands, or inside the office, and that Ma is at home making dinner, waiting for me to finish my shift.

Nelly and Erika might also have something to do with it. Right now, they seem to be the only people who manage to make me feel a little less alone.

A few days after Ma had to fly back to Mexico, something happened with Nelly. I was restocking the shelves when, all of a sudden, I broke down crying. My chest started heaving so badly that I could hardly breathe. Everything in front of my eyes became too bright for me to be able to make out any shapes, and as I stumbled around the aisle, trying to find my way to the office in the back, I felt an unfamiliar pair of arms wrapping around me. The flowery smell of Nelly’s perfume told me everything I needed to know, and I allowed myself to fall into her. She held me without saying anything, and when my tears stopped falling and I was able to breathe again, we just stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. “It’s okay,” she seemed to be saying to me, even though no words left her mouth. “Just keep breathing. You’ll be okay.”

Luckily, there were no customers around to witness my breakdown. I went into the office, fixed myself up a bit, and then went back to work. Nelly and I haven’t spoken about it since, but things changed after that. I have started to appreciate her gentle nature, the way silence is always comfortable between us.