“He’s down in Philadelphia for the weekend,” she says. “So… should we get going?”

I sneak a quick glance at my phone, only to find that there’s still no news from my parents. The last thing I feel like doing is going to a bar, but I’m not brave enough to back out at this point.

Adam answers for the both of us. “Let’s do it.”

We could probably walk to Hell’s Kitchen, but Adam insists on taking the subway. I don’t have the energy to argue, so we start walking toward the nearest station, and I do my best to pretend that I’m okay. I just can’t stop thinking about Ma and Pa. Even though Kimmie and Adam are next to me, making jokes and laughing, it feels like I’m walking alone with no direction.

The subway ride feels eternal. It doesn’t help that the train is moving like crazy, because my legs are shaking so badly that it’s hard to stay balanced as it is. I look down at my phone, even though I already know there’s never service on the C train. I shouldn’t feel disappointed when I realize that, indeed, my phone has zero bars. I shouldn’t feel so desperate to go back aboveground, because I know there probably won’t be any news from Ma and Pa even then, but I can’t help it.

While I shove my phone back in my pocket, I catch a snippet of what Kimmie and Adam are saying.

“—gay bar on Forty-Sixth. It said online that they cater to a ‘Broadway crowd.’”

“Broadway crowd? What does that even mean?”

“I dunno.”

“I mean, are they talking about actors? Or just Broadway fans?”

“I guess we’ll find out when we get there.”

“If they let us in.”

“We’ll find another place if they don’t.”

Soon enough, I start to wish that I could be in on the conversation. I wish more than anything in the world that I could be like them—that my biggest concern right now was figuring out which bar to try first. I wish I could have a normal life, a normal family, a normal home, like I used to before this whole mess started. I wish I wasn’t standing here with my heart stuck in my throat, waiting to find out if my parents are going to get deported or not.

“Matt?” Kimmie says suddenly. I turn toward her, and I realize the subway doors are open and she and Adam are halfway out of the train. “Come on, hurry up.”

I join them on the platform a second before the recording overhead announces, “Stand clear of the closing doors,” and I follow them through the packed station toward the exit.