“Hang on.” Sadie set down her drink. “Let me see if I’ve got this straight. You think that you were so focused on how much you wanted the CNC stuff that you didn’t see the problems with your relationship with Kyle before it was too late?”

Olivia nodded. “Right.”

“And now you think you’re doing the same thing with Cade?”

“Kind of.”

Sadie picked up her drink, drained it, and signaled the waitress for another. “I’m going to need more alcohol for this.”

“Look, obviously Kyle wasn’t the right guy for me.”

“Obviously.”

“But I thought he was,” Olivia continued. “Because he fit all the criteria. We had chemistry, our kinks were compatible—”

“Except they weren’t,” Sadie pointed out. “Because he lied.”

“But I didn’t know that.” Olivia frowned. “Where was I?”

“I can honestly say I have no idea.” Sadie nodded her thanks to the waitress as she delivered another shot. “Have a drink. Maybe it’ll come to you.”

Olivia eyed the shot of tequila in front of her, then shook her head. “No, thanks.”

“Okay, then,” Sadie said, and knocked it back. “Shit, that burns. You were saying?”

Olivia rubbed her head. “I don’t remember.”

“Can I tell you what I think is going on?”

“Yes, please.”

“You’re in love with Cade, and it’s freaking you out—perfectly normal reaction, by the way, everyone does it.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“And your jerk of an ex showing up with his half-assed apology is also messing with you.”

“I really think it was a sincere apology,” Olivia protested.

“It’s still messing with you. These are two separate freak-outs, but you’ve smooshed them together in your mind, so now they’re all tangled up together, and you think they’re linked.”

“But they are linked.”

Sadie sighed. “Don’t make me do another shot.”

“Look, all I’m saying is, I thought I was in love with Kyle, because I’d convinced myself we were a perfect fit. And that turned out to be a big lie.”

“Because he was a big liar,” Sadie pointed out. “Do you think Cade is lying to you about liking CNC?”

Olivia frowned. “No.”

“Do you think he’s lying about liking you?”

“No. But what if I’ve convinced myself that he fits me when he doesn’t?”

“You’ve lost me again.”

“I mean, he definitely fits me kink-wise,” Olivia went on, trying to gather her scrambled thoughts. It made sense in her head, but it was coming out all wrong. “But what if he doesn’t fit me otherwise, but I’ve convinced myself he does, because I don’t want to lose the kink?”

Sadie stared at her. “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

Olivia sighed. “I’m not explaining this well.”

“Oh, you’ve explained it perfectly. But it’s codswallop.”

Olivia blinked. “Codswallop?”