It was on the tip of her tongue to return the sentiment, but she wouldn’t have meant it, so she merely nodded.

“You’re doing okay?” he asked, and jerked his head toward the wall where her sentries waited. “With Cade, I mean?”

She gave in to the urge to look over at him. He was leaning back against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face as he watched them. He caught her eye and gave her a slow wink, then went back to scowling at Kyle.

“I’m great,” she said honestly, and looked back at Kyle. “Is that what you wanted to know?”

“Partly,” he admitted, and a faint flush stained his cheeks. “I never checked up on you after you left. I’m sorry about that.”

“Just about that?” she said drily, was surprised to see his blush deepen.

“I’m sorry about all of it,” he said. “The contract, the ultimatum. I hope you can forgive me.”

She already had, she realized, but that didn’t mean she was going to let him off the hook. “Then tell me why.”

He nodded. “That’s fair. Can we sit?”

She fought back impatience and nodded, leading the way to the rows of chairs. She sat and waited for him to take the chair across the aisle. A good three feet separated them, which suited her fine. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and looked down at the floor. “I couldn’t do it.”

She frowned, confused. “Couldn’t do what?”

“Consensual non-consent. Some of it was fun,” he went on hurriedly, as though he wanted to get the words out as fast as possible. “The somnophilia, for one. I liked that. And the lighter scenes. But the role-play you wanted to do, I just…I just couldn’t.”

Olivia felt like she’d been hit with a shovel. “But you told me…”

“I know.” He lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck, guilt and remorse twisting his face. “I did want to try it, in the beginning. I wasn’t lying to you.”

He shrugged when she just stared at him. “I didn’t think it would give me so much trouble. I mean, it was consensual. I knew that. But it felt real, and I didn’t like myself when I was doing that kind of stuff.”

“Oh,” she said softly, her heart twisting in realization. “Oh, Kyle.”

“I just couldn’t be that guy,” he went on, staring at the floor now. “I wanted to be, for you. I thought I could.”

So many things made sense now. “And the contract?”

He gave her a sheepish smile. “Last ditch effort. I thought it would help. Like if we had that level of D/s, if I had control over everything, it would make me feel better about…”