Back Impossible Causes Save as PDF
Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Title Page
  4. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  5. Part One Solar Phase
  6. June 2017
  7. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  8. The Book of Leah
  9. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  10. The Book of Leah
  11. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  12. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  13. September 2017
  14. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  15. The Book of Leah
  16. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  17. The Book of Leah
  18. October 2017
  19. Ordinary Time: Autumn 2017
  20. The Book of Leah
  21. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  22. November 2017
  23. The Book of Leah
  24. November 2017
  25. Kingdomtide 2017
  26. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  27. The Book of Leah
  28. December 2017
  29. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  30. The Book of Leah
  31. Advent 2017
  32. Part Two Lunar Phase
  33. The Book of Leah
  34. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  35. December 2017
  36. The Book of Leah
  37. Transfiguration 2018
  38. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  39. February 2018
  40. The Book of Leah
  41. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  42. February 2018
  43. The Book of Leah
  44. Lent 2018
  45. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  46. March 2018
  47. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  48. March 2018
  49. The Book of Leah
  50. Eastertide 2018
  51. Eastertide: Friday the 13th – April 2018
  52. Friday the 13th – April 2018
  53. Eastertide: Friday the 13th – April 2018
  54. The Book of Leah
  55. Acknowledgements
  56. Note On The Author

Then, in a way, Viola was in their situation. She had offered her body to a pervert in the woods in return for his slaughtering an animal that she was too squeamish to slaughter herself. She saw how easy it was to lose sight of the line – the one that said, on this side is the victim and on this one, the perpetrator. She saw how hard it was to see yourself as blameless.

Viola would have to be the one to do it, or else she would join that list of potential eye-averters and collaborators – the people who just did nothing. She would be as bad as Miss Cedars. In some twisted fashion, it had also occurred to Viola, that if she did do it, she would better understand the girls’ pain, and that would bring them closer together.

The finding of the heart, the girls’ curfew, the death of the gamekeeper – all of this gave Viola a hiatus in which to prepare.

She visited Saul Cooper in his back office at the Customs House. She had a plan.

He would make her a cup of tea, and then, while he was in the middle of a talk on the various capabilities of his radio equipment, a subject in which Viola had expressed an interest as a pretext for her visit, she would throw herself at him. As practice. So she wasn’t completely unprepared for what she was about to do at the stones. So that her first time was with someone kind.

This is how it would go: she’d would move from the chair to the camp bed and pat the space beside her, ask to see what was in his sketchbook and then… What would she do? She would close her eyes and kiss him, focus on his positive qualities, imagine he was physically someone else, younger, substitute his weaselly face for that of a celebrity, if Viola could remember what any of them looked like without a working phone or TV. She could trust him, she thought, to be gentle.

‘Mr Cooper,’ she said, interrupting his lecture on Marine VHF, how it bounced its signal from mast to mast to gain distance across the ocean.

‘Saul,’ he corrected, which was good, a move towards familiarity.

She looked up at him, standing at the counter in front of that great sea-filled window, his fingers resting on the buttons of one of the communications devices, eager to carry on with his lecture – and Viola lost all courage.

He really was kind and didn’t deserve to be used. He deserved to be happy, so she found herself blurting out, ‘I think you’d make a good dad.’ The saying of it made her squirm; how swiftly her thoughts had travelled from one idea to another, how easily she could embarrass herself.

He gave a quick splutter of laughter. ‘Oh, yeah, what makes you say that?’

‘Well, Leah said it, actually.’