Yes, I’d wanted him to kiss me. Standing in the center of that space that always made me feel so calm and grounded with his arms around me and his hard length pressed into my belly as he whispered in my ear… Yes, I’d wanted that kiss. To be honest, I still wanted it. Wanted it just as much as I listened to him sigh in frustration about that missed opportunity.

“I hope…no, I need to know that I’ll get that opportunity again, Darcy. And when I said that you should make a list of things you want me to do to and for you? I was serious.” He chuckled and then sighed again. “I’ll see you in a few,” he said, then ended the message.

Then, like a lovesick girl, I played the whole thing again then saved it instead letting it disappear. Hm. This may be wrong. It may just be a thing that shouldn’t happen, shouldn’t be done. But there was no questioning the fact that the message from Tommy made me forget the bullshit. Without a second thought to how pathetic that was, I shoved my phone back into my pocket and went back downstairs.

Pastor Evans was the same minister who married Shannon and I and baptized Jared when he was twelve. My son thought it would be romantic to be married by a minister that had such a deep history with our family when anyone else would have seen it as a bad omen to be married by the same minister as their estranged parents.

Bless his heart.

“Mrs. MacFarland—”

“Ms.,” I corrected, maybe a bit too harshly. “It’s Ms. now.”

“Oh, yes. Right,” the pastor said with a solemn nod. “I haven’t seen your beautiful face in our pews as of late. You’re looking well.”

“Thank you, Pastor Evans! And yeah, I’ve been attending Music of Life. Shannon and his extended family have always had Our Lady of Mercy as their church home, and I just thought it would easier if it stayed that way. I didn’t want to cause any problems.” Shannon and I may have been married for years, but his family had never been very welcoming to me. I didn’t see a need to continue to perform niceties once he was gone.

“Totally understandable,” he said with another solemn nod. “So, Jared’s getting married. Time really flies!”

“It sure does.” We were standing next to the self-serve bar, and I took this moment to make myself another drink — whiskey neat because why even bother playing around at this point? Two more days of this painful small talk. Fucking torture.

Then Tommy’s fine ass stepped through the French doors onto the lower level piazza with Jared and the other boys in tow. He searched the yard, and when his gaze landed on me, he gave me a smile that I felt between my legs.