Back If My Father Loved Me
Chapters (24)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. Dedication
  4. ONE
  5. TWO
  6. THREE
  7. FOUR
  8. FIVE
  9. SIX
  10. SEVEN
  11. EIGHT
  12. NINE
  13. TEN
  14. ELEVEN
  15. TWELVE
  16. THIRTEEN
  17. FOURTEEN
  18. FIFTEEN
  19. SIXTEEN
  20. SEVENTEEN
  21. EIGHTEEN
  22. NINETEEN
  23. TWENTY
  24. About the Author

In the morning Jack croaked from under the covers that he was going to Audrey’s. All I could see of him was stiff hair and a pale crescent of forehead.

‘Are you sure?’

There was a holiday play scheme, if all else failed, that Jack grudgingly agreed to go to because one of the leaders shared an interest in ornithology. If it was one of his days for going there I would drop him off on my way to the Works.

‘Yeah.’

‘Not to the scheme?’

‘No.’

‘I’ll see you later, then.’

Lola was already downstairs, late for work. She was standing in her underclothes, alternately gulping instant coffee and eating buttered toast with one hand and jabbing the iron over a skirt with the other.

‘I’ll do that for you.’

‘Thanks.’

She chewed and stared into space. Her face was still shuttered with sleep.

‘News about Dad and Suzy,’ I began.

‘Yeah. Well. It’s up to them, isn’t it?’

‘You weren’t upset?’

‘God, Mum. What would be the point?’ She had been, in other words, but didn’t feel like discussing it now.

‘None, really. Jack minds, though, doesn’t he?’

‘Jack needs to get a life.’

I opened my mouth to defend him, but Lola was irritable and in a hurry, and I could tell that the heat outside was already building up into another testing day.

I said instead, ‘He’ll grow out of it.’ Lola acknowledged my use of her mantra with a twist of her buttery lips. ‘Here you are.’ I turned her skirt the right way out and handed it to her.

She pulled it on over her hips and yanked at the zip. ‘Gotta go.’

‘See you later, then.’

I drove to work, trying not to fume at the traffic.

Penny and Andy were already at their benches. It was Leo’s day at college.

In the middle of the morning Colin appeared at the front counter. We all tried to ignore him but he rapped on the countertop with a coin. ‘Shop!’ he called briskly.

‘Hello, Colin,’ I gave in.

‘Nobody working here today?’

‘Three of us are working, if you look closely. We’re pretty busy.’

He hoisted a bulging carrier bag and dumped it on the counter. ‘Got another book. I want to discuss it with you. The last one was nice, but I can think of some improvements.’

I put down my job and walked to the front of the shop. Colin had actually shed his raincoat, presumably as a concession to the heatwave, but he was still wearing a grey hand-knitted jumper with the front zip done up. There were pearly drops of sweat on his top lip and on his forehead. He smelled sharply unpleasant and I resisted the impulse to take a step backwards.