Back If My Father Loved Me
Chapters (24)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. Dedication
  4. ONE
  5. TWO
  6. THREE
  7. FOUR
  8. FIVE
  9. SIX
  10. SEVEN
  11. EIGHT
  12. NINE
  13. TEN
  14. ELEVEN
  15. TWELVE
  16. THIRTEEN
  17. FOURTEEN
  18. FIFTEEN
  19. SIXTEEN
  20. SEVENTEEN
  21. EIGHTEEN
  22. NINETEEN
  23. TWENTY
  24. About the Author

I closed the book and put it aside. So Ted had created a perfume for her, but not for my mother or me. I knew and Audrey knew, and there was more triumph than pain showing in the pucker round her mouth. She was formidable, I suddenly thought. There was a steely strength in her that I hadn’t fully appreciated and my pity or sympathy or whatever it had been was misplaced. She would have been a match for Ted. More than a match, probably.

‘It’s been very interesting,’ Audrey said. ‘And now it’s time for me to get home. The animals don’t like to be left for too long.’

‘We must do this again.’ I smiled at her. Jack fidgeted near my elbow, indicating his displeasure at this suggestion. ‘And I’ll give you a lift home.’

Audrey stood up and adjusted the hook that fastened her fur. ‘I’ll walk, thanks. I’m used to walking. Maybe you’ll keep me company, Jack?’

‘Okay,’ he said quickly.

I couldn’t find any reason for protest. I went with them to the front door and Audrey’s stiff bearing indicated that I shouldn’t try on anything as bogus as kissing her goodbye. We nodded at each other instead. I watched them part of the way down the road. Neither of them looked back. Jack was chattering as he hopped along beside Audrey’s dusty figure, and she bent her head to listen to him, then nodded and laughed. I could see the fox tails swinging as her shoulders shook.

I didn’t try to guess what they were laughing about. I went back inside and cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. Then I sat outside in the shade of the tree and tried to read the Sunday papers.

Audrey wanted Jack’s company but she definitely didn’t want it in the context of his home and family, or particularly me. My plan to defuse her appeal to Jack by drawing her more closely into the circle didn’t seem to have worked and when I considered it now it seemed in any case like a cheap manoeuvre. I refolded the newspaper and read about the developing transport crisis. There were more tube and bus strikes forecast for the coming weeks. I was glad we were going to France to be in the sun together, the three of us.

Lola came home before Jack did. She sliced leftover polenta cake and fed it into her mouth, scattering crumbs. ‘I thought she was quite interesting, Mum. A bit scary, maybe. And she wasn’t giving anything away, was she?’

‘No,’ I agreed.

‘Was she one of Grandad’s girlfriends?’

‘She claims not.’

‘Oh, well.’ Lola yawned. ‘It’s all a long time ago. Jack can’t come to any harm round there, anyway. Just let him do what he wants.’