‘You don’t need to do that. No, wait a minute. I didn’t mean that to come out sounding ungrateful, I just hope he’ll be all right and not need any special attention.’

Mr Rainbird had a clipboard too. The second bus noisily pulled away from the kerb.

‘Did you lose my number?’

It was ten days since the party. The scrap of paper was still folded inside my wallet. ‘No.’

‘Well?’

‘I …’ There was too much memory and also too much present tense in my head. Jack and Lola marched in my thoughts alongside Audrey and Penny, and Auntie Angela who was waiting to see me up in Suffolk. My mind was already focused on the drive there. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said.

‘Sir? Sir?’ Two huge boys wearing barge-sized trainers were scuffling beside the third bus. I recognised Wes and Jason from Jack’s form.

‘Yes, what is it?’

‘Sir, Miss Clarkson said we was on the wrong bus, yeah? But it’s the only one left now.’

‘Just get on it, then, and we’ll sort it out later.’ Mr Rainbird sighed and consulted his list.

‘Have a good week,’ I said.

‘Thank you, Sadie. And the same to you. Don’t forget our agreement, will you?’

Mr Rainbird was going to be persistent. I assured him I wouldn’t forget and didn’t add that merely recollecting didn’t mean that I would actually ring. The doors had closed behind him too before I realised I was grinning. I was playing a withholding game, that was it. Whether or not I called this man in the end, I was still – after so long – back in the dance.

All these things – Ted’s death, the crowding in of memories, my unlooked-for rebirth as a woman apparently desirable to men – these were all connected. The stopper was out of the bottle and the perfume was spilled. There would be no closing it up until evaporation was complete. The road outside the school was suddenly empty and quiet. I looked up past the walls of glass and concrete to the dust-white early-morning sky. It was going to be another hot day.