Back If My Father Loved Me
Chapters (24)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. Dedication
  4. ONE
  5. TWO
  6. THREE
  7. FOUR
  8. FIVE
  9. SIX
  10. SEVEN
  11. EIGHT
  12. NINE
  13. TEN
  14. ELEVEN
  15. TWELVE
  16. THIRTEEN
  17. FOURTEEN
  18. FIFTEEN
  19. SIXTEEN
  20. SEVENTEEN
  21. EIGHTEEN
  22. NINETEEN
  23. TWENTY
  24. About the Author

The first face I recognised was Cassie’s because she was towering over everyone else. She was perched high up on Jerry’s shoulders, swaying to the rhythm of her father’s dancing and giving the crowd her Queen wave. Father’s and daughter’s foreheads had exactly the same commanding height and curvature. Cassie’s eyes glittered with frantic excitement and she urged Jerry on by kicking her ankles within his clenched fists. The next person I saw was Graham. He was leaning against the wall with a pint in his hand, looking conspicuous in his weekend uniform of corduroys and a pressed shirt. I edged my way over to him.

‘Christ,’ he said. From this vantage point I could see Caz dancing in her intent way with a fat man I didn’t recognise and just beyond her was Evelyn. Evelyn’s hair was parted in the middle and fell round her face in Pre-Raphaelite waves. She was wearing a long skirt that swirled round her ankles and a tiny vest that revealed the wings of her collarbones and the fact that there was nothing but skin under the vest. She moved dreamily, with a smile curving her lips.

‘Christ,’ Graham muttered again. I took this as a general statement that he would prefer to be at home stoking the barbecue.

‘Where’s Penny?’ I asked.

‘She’s here somewhere. You look nice in that dress. Let me get you a drink.’

‘Thanks, Graham. I’ll just go and see if I can find Pen.’

She was in the middle of the room, with Kathy and Dee who were two of her gay friends.

‘Thanks for coming, Sade,’ she shouted in my ear. Kathy and Dee draped an arm apiece over my shoulders and hugged me. They were both smoking and smelled very strongly of French tobacco.

‘I didn’t know you were going to bring Cassie.’ She was the only child in the room. Jack was at home with Matt as babysitter.

Penny frowned. ‘I didn’t either. It came to her bedtime, but Evelyn announced she was coming with us because Jerry wanted her here. I said it was a ridiculous idea to bring a baby to a gig like this. Evelyn said it was too late to get a sitter. I said I would stay at home with her. Evelyn said if I didn’t come I was being unsupportive and I didn’t love her. I said – well.’ Penny shrugged and lowered her hunched shoulders. Her face was contused with unhappiness. ‘I said I loved them both and Evelyn said good, but Cassie is her daughter, hers and Jerry’s, so she could decide whether to bring her to a party or not. That’s more or less how we left it.’