i’ve started telling people i love them more.

it’s become a typical way to end a conversation:

i’ll talk to you tomorrow, love you.

i’ll see you tonight, i love you.

these words used to feel so sacred to me.

i felt afraid to tell them to anyone.

but now i say them daily,

to more people than i can count:

my grandmother, at the end of a phone call,

my best friends, wrapping up a voice memo,

drunk in a bar bathroom, laughing to tears,

waiting to go onstage, holding hands in the wings—

i love you.

you mean so much to me.

i love you.

thank you for being there.

i love you.

i’m so glad we’re experiencing this together.

i love you.

get home safe.

MY LOVE LANGUAGE MUST BE:

after zane frederick

honesty / nervous hands / those i think my soul already knew yous / the moment before we kiss for the first time / you saying i love you into my mouth / when we know each other so well we don’t have to speak / comfortable silence / how it seems hard to everyone else / but we make it easy / never doubting / i made the right choice in loving you / so i stay / and you stay / and it’s just the way we dreamed it would be

let me tell you how you deserve to be loved. you deserve to have somebody who sees you at your worst and does not shy away. you deserve to be with somebody who holds you up on the days where you can barely stand, who guides you towards the light when all you see around you is darkness. you deserve somebody who wants you even when you don’t want yourself. you deserve to be loved in a way that is kind and forgiving. that does not make you feel bad for being angry or sad or sleep-deprived or busy. that does not ask you to put your dreams aside. but if you want that, if you want that kind of love—and you want it to stay—you have to be willing to give it, too. if you do not want to love somebody that much, that completely, you will not find it waiting for you. at least, not for long. you see, the ones who can love you in the best way are the ones who have faced heartbreak and pain and have come out stronger because of it. they have every reason to shut themselves away and fear the worst in a relationship, but they don’t do that. they know that they deserve to be loved the way they love others, and one day, they’ll find it. so they keep trying. they love and love and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. they know when to run, when they’ve given all they can but have had nothing given to them in return. but they will love you for all time if you can meet them halfway. if you are willing to give them what they give you. this is how you deserve to be loved. by good people with good hearts. by the ones who know what love really takes.