He snorted. If he was being honest, and taking a good, hard look at himself, then he would never turn it around by diving into the bottle every time he hit a stumbling block either. He needed to pull himself together, get back to work. The problem with working for himself was having no one else to answer to and having a plethora of excuses for why he couldn’t find any carpentry jobs. The people of Mapledon wouldn’t employ him. He had to go further afield – and in his current state of mind it was too much effort. Much easier to lie about all day and wallow in self-pity.

God, he missed her.

He’d let her down so badly.

His forced solitude was suffocating him. If only people could give him a chance, instead of believing all the terrible stories flying around. If only he had company. Being by himself all the time wasn’t good for him. Never had been. He needed, craved someone to understand him. To be beside him and love him. To trust him.

But, did he deserve any of that after messing up so badly?

Chapter Thirty-One

2019

Anna

Sunday 14th July

Anna paced the lounge from the doorway to the window and back, the edge of one thumbnail jammed between her teeth, chewing on it vigorously as she waited for Auntie Tina to walk down the path.

‘For goodness’ sake, love, you’re making me nervous,’ Muriel said. ‘Stand still. Or better yet, sit.’

‘I can’t. Not now you’ve told me I’ve done the wrong thing inviting her here. If she hates me for merely living, then why does she want to come for coffee? Is she going to lace it with arsenic?’

‘And I thought I was the one who blew things out of proportion,’ Muriel muttered, giving Anna a knowing look. Anna smiled weakly. Did her mum know that’s what she often said about her – what she told other people – that her mother was inclined to dramatise?

The doorbell startled her, in turn making Muriel jump.

Anna shot a wide-eyed glance towards her mum and headed to the door.

‘Morning, Auntie Tina,’ Anna said.

‘You going to keep me on the doorstep?’

Anna stood back quickly. She hadn’t realised she’d frozen. ‘Sorry, yes – come in.’

Even though the morning was warm, Anna felt a chill as Tina brushed past her and walked into the lounge. She took a slow breath in, closed the door, then headed into the lion’s den.

‘Haven’t seen you out and about for a while, Muriel,’ Tina said, as soon as she sat at the dining table.

‘The way it goes sometimes.’ Muriel gave a shrug.

Anna faffed about with the coffee and mugs, trying to busy herself until the awkward first comments were done with.

‘Surprised me, that’s all – I assumed you’d be the first to be gossiping at the shop, not avoiding everyone.’

‘I’m not avoiding anyone. I’ve been a bit under the weather, that’s all.’ Muriel’s tone was defensive.