Back Hue and Cry
Chapters (16)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Preface
  5. A Matter of Vocabulary
  6. On Trains
  7. A Solo Song: For Doc
  8. Gold Coast
  9. Of Cabbages and Kings
  10. All the Lonely People
  11. An Act of Prostitution
  12. Private Domain
  13. A New Place
  14. Hue and Cry
  15. About the Author
  16. About the Publisher

“Good tea,” he said. “Very good tea.”

Doc was silent.

Jerry took the lemon wedge off the oyster fork and squeezed it into the glass, and stirred, and sipped again. “Very good,” he said. Then he drained the glass. Doc reached over to pick it up for more ice but Jerry kept his hand on the glass. “Very good service, Doc,” he said. “But you served the lemon wrong.”

Everybody was quiet. Uncle T. folded his hands in the praying position.

“How’s that?” said Doc.

“The service was wrong,” Jerry said. He was not smiling now.

“How could it be? I been giving that same service for years, right down to the crushed ice for the lemon wedge.”

“That’s just it, Doc,” Jerry said. “The lemon wedge. You served it wrong.”

“Yeah?” said Doc.

“Yes,” said Jerry, his jaws tight. “Haven’t you seen the new rule?”

Doc’s face went loose. He knew now that they had got him.

“Haven’t you seen it?” Jerry asked again.

Doc shook his head.

Jerry smiled that hard, gray smile of his, the kind of smile that says: “I have always been the boss and I am smiling this way because I know it and can afford to give you something.” “Steward Crouse,” he said. “Steward Crouse, go get the black bible for the headwaiter.”

Crouse looked beaten too. He was sixty-three and waiting for his pension. He got the bible.

Jerry took it and turned directly to the very last page. He knew where to look. “Now, Headwaiter,” he said, “listen to this.” And he read aloud. “Memorandum Number 22416. From: Douglass A. Tesdale, General Superintendent of Dining Cars. To: Waiters, Stewards, Chefs of Dining Cars. Attention: As of 7/9/65 the proper service for iced tea will be (a) Fresh brewed tea in teapot, poured over crushed ice at table; iced tea glass set in shell dish (b) Additional ice to be immediately available upon request after first glass of tea (c) Fresh lemon wedge will be served on bread-and-butter plate, no doily, with tines of oyster fork stuck into meat of lemon.” Jerry paused.

“Now you know, Headwaiter,” he said.

“Yeah,” said Doc.

“But why didn’t you know before?”

No answer.

“This notice came out last week.”

“I didn’t check the book yet,” said Doc.

“But that’s a rule. Always check the book before each trip. You know that, Headwaiter.”

“Yeah,” said Doc.

“Then that’s two rules you missed.”

Doc was quiet.

“Two rules you didn’t read,” Jerry said. “You’re slowing down, Doc.”

“I know,” Doc mumbled.

“You want some time off to rest?”

Again Doc said nothing.

“I think you need some time on the ground to rest up, don’t you?”

Doc put his tray on the table and sat down in the seat across from Jerry. This was the first time we had ever seen a waiter sit down with a customer, even an inspector. Uncle T., behind Jerry’s back, began waving his hands, trying to tell Doc to get up. Doc did not look at him.