His mouth curves in a crooked smile. “Which do you want?”

“Aden,” I murmur his name and kiss him, needing to stand on my tiptoes. His hands wrap around mine. The gentle side of him. The side who doesn’t know all of what Dean went through. The side that doesn’t remember.

I smile back at him, although my heart pounds. “Is it done?”

The smile dims a little as I wait for his response, but it doesn’t fade completely. “Is what done?” he asks. Aden doesn’t always know. He doesn’t want to and he doesn’t need to. I love them both. I need them both. Even if all of me is irreparably broken and half of him is.

“The list I gave you. The one for him. For Dean?”

“All the names are gone. Or did he add more?”

I hesitate. I always choose my words carefully with all the patients I work with, but I’m the most careful with him. He means too much to me.

I shake my head no. “If they’re all crossed off, there’s no reason to worry.”

“Are you worried, baby?” he asks me with a sad smile.

“The news makes me worry,” I admit to him and he kisses me softly before whispering at my lips, “There’s no reason to worry. He’s been careful. I know he has.”

His eyes go soft. Part of that might be because of the light, but I know it’s also because of how he feels.

He takes a breath. “You stay with me, don’t you? When I’m him.” Aden doesn’t understand everything. But he knows how much I love Dean. I don’t compare the two of them. I love them both more than anything. I need them both too.

“Always,” I promise, looking him in the eye. The eyes really are the windows to the soul. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy to accept what you see when you look. I’ve seen lots of broken souls, hurting from years of abuse and losing hope that they’ll ever feel normal again. “I always stay with you, both sides of you. You know I love all of you.”

He squeezes my hand, a smile returning to his face. This one’s brighter. “Always,” he whispers.

“I love you both always.” I take his other hand in mine and let out a sigh. “But I’d love to confide in Dean now if that’s alright.”

He lets out a quiet laugh. “Do you need to compartmentalize, Doctor?” He smirks a handsome look, but I know he wishes I didn’t need Dean. I know he gets jealous. A part of me loves that. I’m selfish though. In more than one way.

He lets his eyes flutter closed for a few beats, then opens them.

“Dean?”