Lots of people have ideas about right and wrong. Most would say that killing is wrong. But how could they think that when they did all that shit to us? And they were allowed to. No one ever got in trouble when the truth finally came out. They just got to go home. So right and wrong, when it comes to what other people think… well it doesn’t really register for me.

I learned from that school that what people say isn’t what they mean.

I learned that nothing matters except making sure everyone gets their punishment.

DEAN

10 years ago

The “treatments” are never treatments in this hell hole.

It’s like everything else about the school. It’s not really a school, it’s a prison for people like me. Delinquents. Nuisances. Some of us did actually commit a crime and got caught. I know I’ve shoplifted before but I got away with it. It was just candy bars. It was wrong and I know that. It was stupid. That was last year when I was 14. My buddy Nick did it first and I know I shouldn’t have. It was dumb and I was missing my mom.

Just thinking about her makes me want to cry. She wouldn’t want this for me. She would have told Dad there was another way. Bad grades and acting dumb… I know I shouldn’t have, but this?

I don’t deserve this. No one fucking deserves this.

It’s not a school, and the treatments aren’t really treatments—they’re just torture.

That’s obvious after about an hour in this place, and it only gets more obvious as the days go by. If you stand in silence, perfectly still, just listening to the cries and screams, the things they tell us… it’s not right. Nothing here is what it’s supposed to be. I really do wonder how they sold this place to our parents. What the hell would they put on a brochure to make this seem like it would help?

It feels like my soul is chipping away piece by piece.

I wonder if they needed my dad’s consent for the treatments, because I’ve been in treatments for months, and there’s nothing to treat. Nobody in their right mind would call this medicine. Nothing about it will heal me. It’ll only make things worse.

That’s the goal. These people want to break me. They want to turn me into someone who follows orders at every cost.

I’ve been doing that already. They don’t know how much it costs to feel like this, but then they don’t care.