Zack knew John was putting distance between them, and he couldn’t tell if he was glad or devastated. Silence descended on the room. He considered just leaving. Every second he stayed brought him closer to tears, and he couldn’t stand the idea of breaking down while John looked so impassive.

There was one thing he needed to know first, however.

“Did you even like me?” Zack asked, eyes glued to the floor. “Or did you just want to fuck me?”

Zack waited for John to respond. When no answer came, he hazarded a glance in John’s direction. He sucked in a breath. John’s neutral expression had vanished. In its place was such potent outrage, Zack fell back a step.

“How dare you,” John growled. The sound sent shivers up Zack’s spine. “You’re accusing me of not being serious? You think I’m the one who was using you? I have never, in my life, dated someone who seemed so ready to run at the first opportunity.” Zack opened his mouth to argue, but John glared at him with such venom that his words died in his throat. “Admit it. You haven’t been in this from day one. I’ve seen it every time I look at you. You were waiting for me to fuck up so you’d have an excuse to leave. You treat dinner invitations like they’re grenades and affection like it’s a threat. I wanted to get serious, and I meant it when I said I wanted you to be my boyfriend one day, but every time I pictured our future, I saw the back of your head.”

“That’s not true,” Zack protested.

“Isn’t it? I may have issues, but at least I’m not scared of my own feelings. How was I supposed to commit to someone who clearly hadn’t committed to me?”

“What do you mean I didn’t commit to you?” Zack’s blood buzzed in his ears. “I told you that I loved you!”

At that, John’s outrage shifted to anguish. “Saying it accidentally after sex doesn’t count. And I know it was an accident. You should have seen your face. You were horrified. Honestly, Zack, was I supposed to find that endearing? You told me you loved me, and then you looked like it was the worst thing that had ever happened to you. Who wouldn’t be completely heartbroken by that?”

“All you had to do was wait,” Zack said. “I was coming here tonight to tell you for real.”

John looked startled. “You were?”

Zack nodded. “Before, I wasn’t ready to hear you say it back. But now I think I am. Or at least I was.”

John’s expression darkened. “I knew it.” He pulled the tissue away from his face. His nose had stopped bleeding. There were smudges of red on his chin. “I knew you’d assume I would say it back.”