Zack quickly amended, “But that doesn’t mean anything. Half the time, I have no clue what I’m doing.” He exhaled. Wow, he was royally screwing this up. “John, I want to see you again, and not just for sex. That much I can say for sure. Just be forewarned, I suck at this sort of thing. Mostly because I’ve never done it before.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Is that okay?”

“Of course. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I just wanted something physical. That’s not the case at all.” He smirked. “Though I do hope there’s quite a lot of sex in our future.” His expression mellowed. He hesitated and then placed a hand on Zack’s hot cheek. “I’m not trying to rush into anything, but ultimately, it’s my hope that this will turn into something serious. I want you to be my boyfriend someday, if that’s what you want too.”

Zack’s insides squirmed in a pleasantly unpleasant way. The feeling was starting to become familiar to him. Nervousness, happiness, terror: the staples of his relationship with John. He still couldn’t explain why. John was perfect. He was a dream come true with a side of walking fantasy. Zack should have been trying to lock him down. And yet still he dithered.

Could it be that John was too perfect? No, that didn’t make sense either. John had his fair share of flaws: he was spoiled and hypocritical and pretentious no matter how hard he tried not to be. So why was Zack so spooked by him?

“Zack?” John interrupted his thoughts. “Did I scare you off?”

It took Zack a moment to remember what John had last said. Boyfriends. John could be Zack’s first boyfriend, if he’d let him.

“No, I’m just processing.”

God, I’m an idiot, Zack thought. Here he had a smart, sweet, funny guy—who just wanted to date him, for Christ’s sake—and Zack was holding back for reasons he couldn’t even identify. This was foolish, even for him.

Consequences be damned, he decided. He wasn’t going to sabotage this like he’d sabotaged everything else in his life, from his education to his job. He was going to dive off this cliff and hope that he sprouted the wings he could feel straining against his skin.

“Of course,” he finally answered. “That’s what I want too. I really like you, John.”

John’s smile was one of the most dazzling things Zack had ever seen. He couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’m going to make you so happy,” John whispered. “I promise.”

And then they were kissing, framed in shadow and gold by a perfect California sunset.

Chapter 14