Zack felt a twinge of dread, but he pushed it away. He needed to get over the constant paranoia he felt when he was with John. He wasn’t even sure what caused it. It wasn’t like he’d been burned in the past and now had trust issues. He’d never dated anyone seriously in his life. Then again, maybe that was the reason. Now that he was in danger of liking someone for the first time, he was terrified.

He forced himself not to overthink it as they exited Pacific Park and walked hand in hand down the second, longer pier. There were couples just like them strolling around, along with kids chasing each other, flocks of tourists, and the occasional jogger. The wind kept them cool even as the dying sunlight warmed their faces.

They reached the end of the pier and selected an empty spot of railing to lean against. Arching above them was a radiant pink-and-purple sky with a scattering of early stars. The waves were sharp onyx stones capped in gold foil. Zack had seen many California sunsets in his life, but this was easily the most beautiful one yet. The structures on the pier darkened to nothing more than black silhouettes limned by dazzling colors and lights.

John rested his head on Zack’s shoulder. Zack turned to look at him and was rewarded with a close-up view of how beautifully John’s pale eyelashes caught the light. They looked like sparks hovering above his eyes. Zack kissed his hair. He had a strange feeling in his gut: fear, joy, lust, and anxiety all rolled up together. His skin itched like it was too small. He imagined he could burst out of it and sprout wings. But if he did, he had no idea if he’d soar or come hurtling back to earth.

John shattered his churning thoughts. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Zack agreed. “One of the many perks of living in our fair city.”

“Have you ever thought about living somewhere else? Maybe studying abroad or backpacking through Europe or something?”

“Never say never,” Zack said, “but I don’t have any immediate plans. I rarely do.”

“That must be nice. My whole life has been planned out for me since I was born.”

“Really?” Zack asked.

“Yeah. My parents knew what schools I would attend and what lessons I would take and what I would do for a living. Everything. Of course, I defied them at every turn in private, but on the surface I was the perfect son.”

“That sounds terrible. I talk a lot of shit about my parents, but they never made me do anything I didn’t want to do.” Zack scratched his chin. “Maybe that’s why I’m such a screwup.”

“You’re not a screwup.” John stroked his arm. “You’re wonderful. Which is actually what I want to talk to you about.”