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Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for Luan Goldie
  3. About the Author
  4. Also by Luan Goldie
  5. Note to Readers
  6. Dedication
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Acknowledgements
  37. Extract
  38. Saturday, 4 May 1996
  39. Chapter One
  40. Chapter Two
  41. Chapter Three
  42. About the Publisher

She holds the jumper in her hands, looking at Obama’s smiling face backed by the stars and stripes. The cotton smells of Kenya, of market mornings and burning coal. She can imagine Kiama so clearly, browsing tourist tat in Mombasa and thinking of her and she can’t help but confess, ‘I miss him, Lewis. I really miss him.’

Lewis makes a face which causes the appearance of that one little line on his forehead. ‘So, call him.’

‘I can’t. He hates me.’

‘He doesn’t hate you.’

Yvonne pulls a tissue from her handbag and wipes her eyes; she’s momentarily embarrassed by the amount of make-up on it, proof that even though she swore she wouldn’t, she did make an effort for him today. She blows her nose and tries to compose herself, but it’s no good. She pulls on the Obama sweatshirt.

Lewis smiles at her. ‘Now I’m looking at it, I think Kiama has the same sweatshirt. He has a bunch of things like that he wears ironically. Freddie Mercury, Ronald McDonald. But look at you; you look like you’re wearing it out of pure love.’

She strokes the plastic print on the front and smiles. ‘That’s because I am.’

‘Call him, Yvie. Call Kiama. He wants to speak to you, I know he does.’

‘Really?’

He nods. ‘Yeah. Don’t leave the ball in his court.’

She scrunches up the damp tissue and throws it back in her bag. That’s done then, the expertly put on make-up, the carefully chosen outfit. What made her think she would be able to keep her guard up with him today?

‘How was he with you when he came back?’

‘He was pissed,’ Lewis says quickly. ‘But I think I didn’t get the full brunt of his anger as he wore some of it off when he was in Mombasa. By the time he got home he was more just exhausted and confused. He started by telling me little bits about the orphanage and some girl he slept with,’ Lewis grimaces.

‘He told you about her?’

‘Yeah, he pretends like he wants boundaries but tells me everything eventually. Even the stuff I’d rather not know about, like him buying pills off some stranger in Nairobi.’

‘I didn’t know that.’

‘But the big things, they took a little longer to get out of him. Like how let down he felt by his grandparents and even Purity. I knew that was going to happen. Kiama’s so used to being the centre of everyone’s world, I think it shocked him to be around people who weren’t ready to drop everything for him.’

‘That’s understandable.’